I’m NOT Losing Weight in 2016

Exercising because I love it - not to lose weight
I may not lose weight, but I will continue to do Crossfit. I love it!

My New Year’s Resolution for 2016 is that I WILL NOT LOSE WEIGHT. Or focus on that any way.

As many of you know, I lost both of my parents in 2015. In September, when we were planning my Dad’s funeral, I went to my closet to find an appropriate outfit to wear. NOTHING FIT. You see, all summer, while caring for my Dad, I had been wearing some very forgiving Ann Taylor shorts as my “go to the hospital uniform”. These were not appropriate for a funeral!

Through the stress of this year, I gained 15 pounds. Hospital visits where I chain-ate chocolate like some people chain-smoke cigarettes, twice daily stops at Starbucks for coffee and a treat to keep me going, eating out and just not paying attention, had resulted in this weight gain.

After the funeral, I immersed myself in self-care. Part of taking care of myself was making an appointment with Sally Twellman, who is a Life Coach and Nutritionist, to see what I could do to get this “weight issue” under control!

Losing Weight – What Would Change?

One of the first things Sally asked me was “How would your life change if you lost weight?” All I could really tell her was that it might be easier to go shopping for clothes and to find clothes that look good.

Other than that, I couldn’t think of one thing that would change.

I would still be me – wife, mother, grandmother, friend. I would have the same gifts and talents. I would still be loved by God, my friends and family.  Losing weight would not really change anything that is all that important to me.

Nevertheless, I wanted A PLAN. The magic bullet, the eating list, the calorie count that THIS TIME would work. So, she gave me one. Sally gave me a number of calories to eat per day and a list of foods to avoid. Information, which after all the years of diet plans, books, Weight Watchers, low carb, low fat, Paleo and Whole 30 I already knew and really didn’t need to pay someone to tell me. THE PLAN lasted about 2 days and I quit.

When I met with Sally again, she said knew this would happen but also knew I needed to figure that out for myself. Then she had a novel idea. She asked me, “What if you ate in a way that nourished your body that came from a place of self love and care instead of hating your body and what you look like?”  I know what to eat to take care of myself and what makes me feel good. Fresh food. Staying away from processed food and a lot of sugar. Eating when I am hungry and stopping when I’m full. When I do those things, I feel good. I feel nourished. I feel happy.

Could you eat in a way that nourished your body that came from self-love instead of hating what you look like? Click To Tweet

Look at Yourself Naked

Then she gave me a tough assignment. Look at yourself naked in the mirror every day for a week. Gross. But I did it. The first couple of days, I started at the top and it was ok until I got down to my stomach. Then I had to look away. I carry most of my excess weight in my stomach and hips. It grossed me out. Then on day 3 I said to myself “Ok, what are you looking at here that is so disgusting to you? It is fat. Fat. A substance that everyone has on their body somewhere if they are healthy.  Yours just happens to pool in this particular place. It is not the end of the world.”

“It does not change who you are one bit. Not your character, personality, love for others, how your friends and family feel about you, your ability to serve others…not one darn thing. And besides there is not one person in this world (that matters anyway) who is looking at your fat, evaluating your fat, hating your fat, spending precious time and money trying to get rid of your fat but YOU. So let it go”.

By my calculations, I had been focusing on weight and fat in some form or fashion since my youngest child was born – 27 YEARS AGO. That’s a long time. And I weigh more than I ever have.

I am 57 years old. If I live as long as my Mom did and die at 82, I have 25 more years left. Do I want to spend the next 25 years obsessing over weight and fat like I have the last 27? Heck no.

The Shift – No more Diets/Plans/Challenges

So 2016 marks a new beginning. A place where I love myself where I am now. Where I take care of myself by eating food that nourishes me, exercising because it feels good and I enjoy it, resting when I am tired, and saying no to things that I don’t really want to do. Being happy. Not stressing over “good and bad food” or turning down invitations to go out to eat with friends because I might not be “allowed” to eat the food that is on the menu.

No more diets, food plans or challenges.

No more diets, food plans or challenges. Click To Tweet

No more discussing how fat I am or the latest diet or “I just have to get this weight off” with my friends. My goodness, what a boring topic.

No more commenting on other people’s weight with phrases such as:

“Oh you look so skinny – have you lost weight?”

“She looks great – she has lost a lot of weight.”

“I am so proud of you for losing all that weight.”

“I hate you for losing all that weight.”

Are you all as sick of this as I am?

For me, 2016 is the year of self-love and self-care. Of being kind to myself. Because I know that out of that, care and love for others will flow. And that is what is important to me.

How do you practice self-love and care? How can you be more kind to yourself?

—-

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33 Comments on "I’m NOT Losing Weight in 2016"

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[…] Pick By Shellie of The Fabulous Journey // My Side of Fifty// New Years Resolution-Not To Lose Weight Co-Host Pick by of Susan B Mead // Crystal and Company// Crock-Pot […]

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[…] Pick By Shellie of The Fabulous Journey // My Side of Fifty// New Years Resolution-Not To Lose Weight Co-Host Pick by of Susan B Mead // Crystal and Company// Crock-Pot […]

jennifer
Guest
6 months 11 days ago

I can relate to where you are coming from self care is so important. Thanks for haring #overthemoon. I loved our post so much ,you have a feature this week

Lynn
Guest
6 months 10 days ago

Kudos to you! I think you have figured out the true meaning of life. Best wishes for the new year

Rosemond
Guest
6 months 10 days ago

Great post! I’m with you, I’m sick of thinking about, discussing, and berating myself. I would love to worry about being strong and healthy instead!!!

OneDizzyBee
Guest
6 months 5 days ago

I really loved reading this post. Being happy with the skin you’re in…what a concept! If only I’d learned that earlier in life. I’m 50 this year and, while I am doing a few things to reduce my weight, I’m doing it for health reasons alone. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that no diet in the world is going to make me look like I did when I was 16, so I’m focusing on doing it for the right reasons, and loving myself every step of my journey. Even when I falter.

nikki
Guest
6 months 2 days ago

I love the way you’ve reframed this and decided to take a whole different perspective. I’ve fought my weight all my life and extreme yoyo dieting has done more harm than good. When I decided to look at my health first that’s when things changed. I removed gluten and lost 25 pounds quickly, the inflammation lessened dramatically, I felt better and that helped me to continue and treat my body better with better foods! Good luck with feeling better in all way this year! Inside and out!

Rebecca
Guest
6 months 2 days ago

Love this post. I lost almost 130 pounds following just these thoughts and felt wonderful. Sadly I’ve gained some back but I am refocusing back on these ideas. You can do this and feel great !!!

Desirae
Guest
6 months 1 day ago

Oh I love it!! Thank you for suggesting that I read this. Such lovely words, and so true. I’m feeling the same way- NO MORE. Just self love. I follow paleo guidelines most of the time because they make me feel better, but the minute it comes from “because it makes me skinnier/ lose weight, etc, I’m quitting. Thank you for your honesty- and I’m sorry last year was so hard for you.

Miranda
Guest
5 months 29 days ago

This is such a great post, and thank you so much for linking up at Fitness Friday on Drops of Learning. I hope to see you back again tomorrow, and look forward to following your journey!

Pat
Guest
5 months 26 days ago

“For me, 2016 is the year of self-love and self-care. Of being kind to myself. Because I know that out of that, care and love for others will flow. And that is what is important to me.” I enjoyed your post, but I LOVED that summary!
So glad you shared this at our own Coffee & Conversation last week! Our readers loved you, too..and this will be one of our features tomorrow 🙂
Have a most wonderful, kind-to-yourself, week!

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[…] I’m NOT Losing Weight This Year […]

Elizabeth Spencer
Guest
5 months 25 days ago

Well, you had me at “not losing weight in 2016,” hooked me with “look at yourself naked in the mirror every day for a week. Gross,” and reeled me in with “no more diets, food plans, or challenges.” Also, “my side of 50”! So glad to meet you via your readers’ choice feature shout-out (congrats!) at Coffee & Conversation! 🙂

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[…] You can also catch Cathy’s original post – I’m NOT Losing Weight In 2016. […]

Maggie
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Maggie
5 months 19 days ago

So sorry for your loss of both parents. I lost my mom last year, and that was hard enough. Your focus on health is wonderful. I’m doing the same thing, because I’m sick of losing 10 pounds and then gaining 12 back every year.

Fabiola Rodriguez
Guest
5 months 14 days ago

What an amazing post!!! I can relate to every word. I also hated my body and my fat for most of my life, and I tried every diet I could find without any visible results. It wasn’t until I decided to forget about my weight and concentrate on loving and taking care of my body that I started seeing results. From that day on, it’s only been about self-love and self-care, not about dieting, and calories, and pounds. It’s the only way to go!

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[…] Pick By Shellie of The Fabulous Journey // My Side of Fifty// New Years Resolution-Not To Lose Weight Co-Host Pick by of Susan B Mead // Crystal and Company// Crock-Pot […]

Angela
Guest
5 months 13 days ago

Great post and thank you for sharing at the Link-up! I am pinning it to go back and read again (and again) when I start focusing too much on the number on the scale. Have a Great Week!!

Kathleen
Guest
5 months 13 days ago

All sorts of wisdom here that speaks to a good outcome without the stress of the negatives
Kathleen
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