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When You Don't Like Your Child's Partner and Other Reasons Their Choice Hurts
Be Brave

When You Don’t Like Your Child’s Partner and Other Reasons Their Choice Hurts

What do you think of your child’s partner or spouse? Do you have a great relationship and love him like your own? Do you think being with her is the worst decision he ever made? Or is he ok, just not what you dreamed of for a son-in-law? Like it or not, when our kids grow up, THEY get to choose their partners – WE DON’T. So what do you do when you don’t like your child’s partner?

For the answer to that question – or at least some great insight, I’ve turned to one of my favorite authors, bloggers, podcasters and therapists, Dr. Margaret Rutherford. I listen to every episode of her podcast,      Self Work with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Her advice and insight are common sense, compassionate and always delivered with good humor. I highly recommend it!

When You Don’t Like Your Child’s Partner and Other Reasons Their Choice Hurts

by Dr. Margaret Rutherford

Your daughter, Alicia called you, out of the blue, six years ago.

“Mom, when I’m home next weekend, I have someone I want you and Dad to meet.”

Your heart turned over. You were so excited for her — she’d never brought anyone home before. You couldn’t wait until the weekend. Would he like you? Would you all get along?

That weekend came and went. Everyone met and was nice.

But you didn’t get that feeling you wanted. You didn’t have an immediate sense of, “I like this guy.” He treated Alicia well, but he was stand-offish with you. Or he drank too much. Or he picked his teeth with a toothpick after dinner.  Or… or… or…

There was something that made you uncomfortable.

Now it’s six years later. And they’re married. Alicia’s pregnant. And you realize you’ll spend birthdays, holidays and all kinds of time with him. You’ll share your daughter with him — maybe for the rest of your life.

You rationally realize he may have similar feelings about you. He may be disappointed in what’s happening, or not happening, as well. And Alicia? She’s aware. Things aren’t perfect. But she loves you both. So she’s stuck in the middle, trying to make the best of it.

So what do you do….?

1) …when your adult child chooses someone uncomfortable with closeness.

Maybe you’d always wanted a close relationship with your child’s partner. You imagined what your relationship with your son’s mate would be. She’d call you for ideas for his birthday or ask your advice on how to make the lasagna he likes so much. And that’s not happening. It’s okay to grieve that that fantasy won’t be happening, at least anytime soon.

She may have issues with trust or might have grown up in a family where closeness wasn’t the norm. She has to live this out longer, and begin to understand that there can be a benefit to close (but not too close) family ties. Experience with you can make a huge difference. You can give her the space she needs to begin to feel more comfortable. And hopefully, she’ll reach back.

Or perhaps she’s very close to her own parents and turns to them for many things. Trying to handle your own fears in this situation is difficult — almost as if being an in-law is a competition that you could lose.

The more you focus on your own relationship with her, and try not to compare, the better off you’ll be.

2) …when your new son or daughter-in-law has significant problems with responsibility or maturity.

You’d envisioned that once your adult child was married, a lot of the worry would be off of you as a parent. She’d have a partner — someone she could count on in diverse ways — financially, emotionally, as a co-parent or as a partner. But she chose someone who’s very emotionally immature, who’s never had a good job, or is struggling with an addiction. You don’t like that your child seems to be bearing a huge load in the relationship, and it’s difficult to contain your disappointment.

This is a tough one. Your adult child chose this person for a reason. You may not understand it. You may think the classic, “She’s not good enough for my son.” But your son chose her. You can work on accepting that and recognize your son’s responsibility for an apparently difficult choice. You can get out of the way, and allow the two of them to work it out.

3) Realize you may be grieving the loss of your own role with your now adult child.

It’s hard to move over, especially if you and your child have been close. Some of what you resent, or “don’t like” may be a sign of jealousy or resentment — and belongs more with you than with your child’s partner.

The work becomes finding things or experiences in your own life that you enjoy, whether that’s with your own partner or alone. It’s important to grieve that empty nest, move into the present, and not focus on the past or “what was.”

You can take responsibility for your own sadness, and look for new ways to connect with your adult child as well as her partner. You’ll enjoy the time when your child’s alone with you, but realize the reality of his life, how important his partner is to him, and focus on what’s possible and appropriate now.

4) … when you believe that your child is unhappy in his marriage.

You feel the strain between your son and his wife. You hear them bickering late at night when they come to visit. You want them to try to heal whatever hurts or resentments there are, and you don’t know how to help. You’re afraid the conflict between the two of them will affect your relationship with your grandchildren, if it goes too far.

There is very little you can do, except be supportive. What you can consider is this — if your son (or daughter) is talking to you about how unhappy they are, you can try very hard not to jump on the bandwagon and criticize their partner. Because he or she could change their feelings, and all of a sudden, you can become the bad guy.

It’s far better to listen, recommend they talk about their issues together, and support them in seeking counseling or help of some kind.

5) … when you suspect abuse.

This problem is far greater than arguing or occasional conflict. He’s isolating her from family. She talks about what he will or won’t “let me do.” She seems to not have as much confidence in herself. She has bruises and says they’re from a fall. She’s growing more nervous when everyone is together.

It’s often family members who love their daughter, niece or granddaughter who have to act when abuse becomes evident. The emotional damage done when someone abuses you is complicated — your self-esteem suffers greatly and you often feel to blame. That guilt can keep you in the situation. And you can fear reprisals if you leave.

Helping her come up with a plan for safety is vital. A family acting to support and shield someone from her perpetrator (or his) can make all the difference. You can try to understand the difficulty of the decision and her fear.

It’s important to not be in denial about the abuse. It can happen to anyone. There’s no race, creed or socioeconomic status that protects anyone from it. When there are children involved, it becomes very difficult to watch, and know how to help. She may need time to consider all her options, however, so there’s a fine balance between rushing in to save and waiting until she’s ready to face whatever fallout there might be from her leaving.

Click here for “Marriage Is Not For Chickens,” the new gift book by Dr. Margaret! It’s perfect for engagements, anniversaries, weddings, or for the person you love!

You can hear more about depression and many other topics by listening to Dr. Margaret’s new podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to her website and receive her weekly posts as well as her podcasts, plus Dr. Margaret’s eBook, “Seven Commandments of Good Therapy.”

You may also like:

10 Tips to Ease the Stress of “Sharing” Your Adult Children On the Holidays

Adult Children and the Holidays – New Perspectives on Sharing

When You Don't Like Your Child's Partner and Other Reasons Their Choice Hurts | Picture of young couple in the kitchen at a party. Mother in foreground with a mad look on her face and holding a cocktail

 

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When You Don’t Like Your Child’s Partner and Other Reasons Their Choice Hurts was last modified: November 13th, 2018 by Dr. Margaret Rutherford
November 13, 2017 10 comments
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Caring for the Caregiver | National Caregiver's Month | Ways to support full-time caregivers and the people who are being cared for.
Be Brave

Caring for the Caregiver – National Caregiver’s Month

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #TryTENAMEN #CollectiveBias

 

November is National Caregiver’s Month, a time when we recognize the challenges family caregivers face when their loved ones need caregiving around the clock. It is a huge task! And one that is no picnic for either the caregiver or the one that is being cared for.

You may purchased products by hovering over this image:

I remember caring for my dad in the months before he passed away. There is a sense of loss when you realize that there are things you just can’t do for yourself. You’ve lost all or part of your independence. You’ve may have lost much of your privacy. And if incontinence is an issue, you may feel like you’ve totally lost your dignity.

I think it’s particularly hard on men – whether it’s just bladder leakage or full-blown incontinence. As women, we start experiencing some bladder leakage when we are pregnant or after having a baby. It’s common. We joke about how we “pee a little” when we laugh or sneeze. There are commercials about products for bladder leakage in women. We don’t like it, but it’s not like it’s some big secret.

Caring for the Caregiver | National Caregiver's Month | Ways to support full-time caregivers and the people who are being cared for.

Do men talk about their bladder leakage issues like women do? Maybe, but I don’t see those conversations happening near as often. And that’s a shame because bladder leakage IS NOT uncommon in men either. An estimated 3.4 million men experience the Unexpected Leak™. There is no shame in it, but that is exactly what a lot of men feel when they experience this issue.

Caring for the Caregiver | National Caregiver's Month | Ways to support full-time caregivers and the people who are being cared for.

 

If a man you care about is experiencing the Unexpected Leak™, pick up a box of TENA® MEN™ Protective Shield at CVS.  Designed with an ultra-thin thickness for comfort and a muted color for discretion, this product will protect against light drips and dribbles while letting him remain comfortable and secure.

Caring for the Caregiver | National Caregiver's Month | Ways to support full-time caregivers and the people who are being cared for.

Week of 11/05/2017 Buy 1 TENA product at CVS, Get 1 @ 50 % OFF

TENA® MEN™ Protective Shield.

Caring for the Caregiver | National Caregiver's Month | Ways to support full-time caregivers and the people who are being cared for.

Caring for the Caregiver | National Caregiver's Month | Ways to support full-time caregivers and the people who are being cared for.

The caregiver:

According to the National Alliance on Caregiving:

More than 65 million people, 29% of the U.S. population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year and spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved one.

The typical family caregiver is a 49-year-old woman caring for her widowed 69-year-old mother who does not live with her. She is married and employed. Approximately 66% of family caregivers are women. More than 37% have children or grandchildren under 18 years old living with them.

I’ve been a caregiver and I have 3 friends who are caring for either parents or spouses right now. It’s hard. It’s never-ending. Their caregiving is an act of commitment and sacrifice that they willingly offer to someone they love.

But it is a lot for one person to handle. And even though many have family members who help in some way, more often than not, the bulk of that job usually falls on one person.

How to support a caregiver:

Most of us probably know someone who is serving as a caregiver right now. And there are ways you can support a caregiver and show your appreciation for all they do.

  • Connect with them. Caregiving can be very isolating. A card, a phone call or a text with a funny .gif or just a note saying you are thinking about them goes a long way.
  • Serve them
    • Ask “What is on your to-do list today?” and then do a couple of those tasks for them.
    • Put up their holiday decorations and when the holiday is over, take them down and put them away.
    • Hire a lawn service or cleaning service.
    • Pay for a month or two of grocery delivery service.
    • Take them a meal or give them a gift card to a restaurant that delivers.
    • If it is a situation where you can stay with the person needing care for a few hours, set up a time to do that to offer the caregiver some respite.
  • Treat them. Who doesn’t love a treat? Flowers, a fancy cupcake from the bakery – any little something out of the ordinary can brighten someone’s days. Or you can make a Caregiver’s Gift Basket with items like this:

 

  • Hand cream – Caregivers wash their hands a lot and a healing hand cream is very soothing to hands that feel dry.
  • Healthy snacks – In performing all the tasks that are involved, it’s easy to forget to eat. Healthy snacks like protein bars, trail mix and fruit are quick to grab when they have a minute and give them the energy they need.
  • Bath salts and a facial mask are perfect for a little pampering.
  • Herbal tea and an inspirational book to read for a minute or two of relaxation.
  • Chocolate. Is there any situation that is not helped by a little chocolate?

 

I picked up all these items at CVS. They have a great selection for all of these gift basket items at every taste and price point.

 

Do you know a caregiver who could use a little TLC? If you are a caregiver, what task or item would YOU add to the list?

Caring for the Caregiver | National Caregiver's Month | Ways to support full-time caregivers and the people who are being cared for.

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Caring for the Caregiver – National Caregiver’s Month was last modified: November 14th, 2017 by Cathy Lawdanski
November 7, 2017 2 comments
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Mini Butterfinger Tortes | Delicious Layered Dessert made with store-bought Angel Food cake, Whipped cream/butter mixture, pecans and crushed Butterfingers
Be Brave

Mini Butterfinger Tortes Made with Butterfinger Baking Bits

I love Butterfingers. They are one of my favorite candy bars. Years ago, I found a recipe in the Houston Chronicle Food section for Butterfinger Torte.  I have made it as the recipe directs in a 13 x 9″ pan for many occasions. This time, however, I made mini versions of this delicious torte in my stemless wine glasses.  I think these Mini Butterfinger Tortes turned out so cute. And they are just as delicious.

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.  I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

This recipe is so good – made with REAL “uber-fattening” ingredients like real whipping cream and real butter. There are no shortcuts, but it’s not hard or time consuming to make. And once you get it made, it is so addictive.

 

I took it to my church small group’s potluck recently and after dinner, we put a big 13 x 9 pan of this delicious torte in the middle of the table so that everyone could serve themselves. We sat and picked at that thing all night while we talked… I thought someone (me) was going to pick that pan up and lick it!

 

Whether you make it in one big pan or serve my “mini” version – it is sure to be a hit! I know you’ll love it!

 

*By the way, this is not a sponsored post for Butterfingers or Butterfinger Baking Bits. Just a yummy recipe from a Butterfinger fan!

Mini Butterfinger Trifles Made With Butterfinger Baking Bits

 

Ingredients:

 

  • 1 store-bought Angel Food cake, torn into bite-sized pieces
  • 1 stick of butter (real butter, not margarine), softened
  • 2 cups whipping cream, whipped until stiff peaks form
  • 4 egg yolks
  • 2 cups powdered sugar
  • 2 tsp. vanilla
  • 1 cup pecans
  • 6 Full-sized Butterfinger Candy Bars, crushed OR 1 pkg. Butterfinger Baking Bits

OR

Prepare your ingredients:

  • Soften butter.
  • Tear the angel food cake into bite-sized pieces.
  • If using Butterfinger candy bars, break into pieces, put in a plastic bag and crush with a rolling pin.
  • Whip the whipping cream until stiff peaks form.
  • Separate the eggs. Save the yolks. Discard the whites.

In a mixing bowl, mix together until well blended:

  • Softened butter
  • Egg yolks
  • Powdered Sugar
  • Vanilla

Fold butter mixture gently into whipped cream until combined.

Layer in individual glasses:

 

Angel Food Cake Pieces

 

Butter/Whipped Cream mixture

 

Pecans

Crushed Butterfingers OR Butterfinger Baking Bits

Repeat

And serve!

Makes 6 individual desserts OR 1-13 x 9 pan

Recipe:

  • 1 store-bought Angel Food cake, torn into bite-sized pieces
  • 1 stick of butter (real butter, not margarine), softened
  • 2 cups whipping cream, whipped until stiff peaks form
  • 4 egg yolks
  • 2 cups powdered sugar
  • 2 tsp. vanilla
  • 1 cup pecans
  • 6 Full-sized Butterfinger Candy Bars, crushed OR 1 pkg. Butterfinger Baking Bits

Mix together butter, egg yolks, powdered sugar, and vanilla.

Fold butter mixture gently into Whipped Cream, until combined

Layer in individual cups or 13 x 9 pan in this order:

  • Angel Food cake pieces
  • Butter/Whipped Cream mixture
  • Pecans
  • Butterfinger pieces

Repeat layers. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

 

 


You might also like:

Delicious Marinated Shrimp Appetizer

Fireball No-Bake Cookies Made with Fireball Cinnamon Whisky

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Mini Butterfinger Tortes | Delicious Layered Dessert made with store-bought Angel Food cake, Whipped cream/butter mixture, pecans and crushed Butterfingers

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Mini Butterfinger Tortes Made with Butterfinger Baking Bits was last modified: October 24th, 2018 by Cathy Lawdanski
October 31, 2017 12 comments
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5 Tips Long Distance Grand-Parenting Tips to Shrink the Miles Between You and Your Favorite Loved Ones | Technology | Snail Mail | Reminder Cues | Visit Often | Leave Mementos
Be Brave

5 Long Distance Grand-Parenting Tips to Shrink the Miles Between You and Your Favorite Loved Ones

Are you a Long-Distance Grandparent? We are blessed to have all 3 of our grandkids VERY CLOSE to us. But for many, with our mobile society and our adult kids taking jobs all over the world, that is not the case. One of my favorite midlife bloggers, Caryn Payzant of The Midlife Guru, is a long-distance grandparent. She lives in California, while her grandkids live in Washington and Ohio. Although she is not having the “close in proximity” grandparenting experience she anticipated, she has found ways to stay connected to those she loves the most in the world. Here are her 5 Long-Distance Grandparenting Tips to Shrink the Miles Between You and Your Favorite Loved Ones.

 

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.  I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

 

I anticipated with delight being a Grammie. After all, when your kids are all grown, moved out of the house, married, successful in their careers — what else could be better to look forward to?
I always planned that when I became a Grammie, I would be the kind of Grammie that was hands-on involved with my grandchildren’s’ lives.  Babysit at least once a week to give the parents a free date night. Take my grandchildren on regular outings. Make and eat treats together. Create cute little projects. Go to their special events. Share secrets. Have sleepovers. You know– the memory making, good friend, always around, spoiler kind of Grammie.

Well, that was the plan—until reality set in. You see, my grandchildren — four adorable grandsons to date — live hundreds of miles away, making it nearly impossible for me to do all the things I had intended.

Due to circumstances out of my control, I have been relegated to long distance Grammie status. At first, I thought long distance grand-parenting was going to be a real drag. It was killing me not to be able to have play dates with my grandchildren. Then I decided, instead of wallowing in my predicament, I would get creative and establish ways that I could have the kind of Grammie-hood I had always envisioned while being miles away. Here are my Long Distance Grand-Parenting Tips; proven ways that have shrunk the distance and strengthened my Grammie ties:

1. Embrace Technology. I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to have not have regular communication with my grandsons. Thank heavens for technology. Cell phones, tablets, and computers are my number one tools I use to hear and see my grandchildren on a regular basis. And it certainly helps that kids today learn pretty early how to use and enjoy these tools as well. FaceTime is our favorite. Not only do we talk and make funny faces, the boys share their school work and latest Lego designs, they give me a tour of their rooms and they show me what they are eating. They like me to show them when I put up my holiday decorations or what the sun looks like (since in Washington and Ohio they don’t get to see it much).

Skype is another great use of technology. After all, their motto is, “Wherever you are, wherever they are-Skype keeps you together.” Because you can add more people, it’s fun to get all the cousins together for a chat. The boys also like it when I read them stories. Skype allows me to use my hands to hold up the book and show the pictures as I read– just as if they were in person. The only part we are missing out on with Long Distance Grand-Parenting is having them cuddle up to me or sit on my lap.

2. Utilize Snail Mail- I know it’s old-fashioned, but who doesn’t like getting mail? I send cards for all holidays and I’ve even been known to make up special occasions just so that I can send something fun. Small packages are great to send too, especially if a birthday is a long ways off.

3. Create Reminder Cues. I’ve made visual and auditory reminders for my grandsons so that they can remember the sound of my voice or the look of my face when we haven’t communicated in a while. Of course pictures in frames, scrapbooks, or calendars are always welcomed. I’ve used templates on online sites like Shutterfly or Blurb to help me with my designs. Another favorite I made, using the site Heritage Makers, was a deck of playing cards using our family pictures as the faces for the cards. When they were younger, the boys used the cards for a matching game. Now that they are older, it is fun to use these cards to play “real” card games with them like War or Hearts.

The grandsons also really enjoy audio books my husband and I have recorded. My favorites are recordable books by Hallmark. They are reasonably priced (you can use a Hallmark coupons to purchase them), sturdy, wipeable (think dirty fingerprints), and easy to record. The selection of books has grown over the years since I have been using them, adding classic titles and modern themes like superheroes. Since Christmas is the time I really miss being a part of, I made sure both families had a holiday title where they can hear us read all season long. After all, that is something I would definitely be doing if I lived closer.
4. Visit Often. Of course, nothing is better than in-person interactions. I try to plan a visit twice a year. It’s certainly a lot easier for me to go see the grandchildren than to have their parents schlep all their paraphernalia across the country to come see us. To help with my travel costs, I subscribe to a couple of airline sites that have frequent stops to where I need to go. Southwest Airlines “Ding.” alerts me on my cell phone whenever there is a special deal to airports in Washington and Ohio. Having credit cards associated with miles is also a good way to cut down on airfare expense. No matter what airline you fly, buying a ticket on the internet at the airline’s website is always cheaper. I have a set price that I am willing to pay for my visits and I am always able to meet that price if I am flexible in timing my visits.

5. Leave Momentos. When I visit, I bring “Grammie Gifts,” inexpensive gifts for each day of my trip. The dollar store is my favorite go-to place to buy these gifts. My Grammie Gifts usually follow a theme (holiday, season), and are something tangible to remember me and the things we did together during my visit. Things like a craft project or a game; baking supplies to make cookies; a book or a puzzle. Grammie Gifts are a great conversation starter for when I return home; ” How is the ….” Just another way to build on our memories until we see each other again.

While Long Distance Grand-Parenting isn’t my first choice, I’ve still been able to come up with some unique ways to stay connected with the most precious little people I know and love: my grandsons. Hopefully, someday, we will all live closer. Until then, I will keep doing my best to be a real presence in my grandsons’ lives as a Long Distance Grand-Parent.

Are you a long distance Grammie too? How do you manage your Long Distance Grand-Parenting?
***For a view from the “other side of Long Distance Grand-Parenting,” please check out an article my oldest daughter wrote on this topic a few years ago on her blog: the stationery place Being the mom of a long distance grandchild, she had a lot to offer on this topic as well.

You might also like:

13 Things to Help Your Grandchild Succeed at School Whether You Live Near or Far

Best Gifts for Boys Ages 8-10

 

5 Tips Long Distance Grand-Parenting Tips to Shrink the Miles Between You and Your Favorite Loved Ones | Technology | Snail Mail | Reminder Cues | Visit Often | Leave Mementos

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5 Long Distance Grand-Parenting Tips to Shrink the Miles Between You and Your Favorite Loved Ones was last modified: September 17th, 2018 by Caryn Payzant
October 24, 2017 14 comments
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11 Questions To Ask Before You Hire An Estate Sale Company | What percentage to they take? | How do they handle sales tax? | How are they staffed?
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11 Questions To Ask BEFORE You Hire an Estate Sale Company

Estate Sales (Tag Sales) are held when someone wants to sell most or all of their possessions. Common reasons for having an estate sale are downsizing, divorce, relocation or you are managing someone’s estate. If you have the time and enough help, you can conduct the estate sale yourself. Or you can hire a company that specializes in estate sales. When I helped my dad downsize before moving into assisted living in 2015, I hired a local estate sale company and had a good experience. But that is not always the case. First, we will look at what estate sale companies actually do and then I’ll give you 10 Questions to Ask BEFORE You Hire an estate sale company

What will an Estate Sale Company actually do?

Estate Sales are usually held over a weekend – Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Prior to the sale, the company will price and display items in a way to ensure you get the best possible price.

Experienced professionals know:

  • The market value of items.
  • What estate sale shoppers are looking for.
  • How to display your items so that they are sold.

They will advertise your sale. Getting the right people in the door is key to a great sale. Companies will advertise on their website, through traditional channels like newspapers and Craig’s List, social media and through their own e-mail/mailing list. Having a large e-mail list is a good sign because these are your target customers – people who shop estate sales and want what you have to sell.

They will staff the sale, handle the money and keep detailed records of what was sold and for how much.

They will provide security during the sale. Maybe not actual police or security guards, but employees who are trained in all the tricks thieves use to shoplift or switch tags during the sale.

They will clean up after the sale.

For an extra fee, they will dispose of what did not sell. They will take what is trash to the appropriate place and donate other items to charity, providing you with a tax receipt for that donation.

They will send you a check for your percentage of the proceeds within 30 days.

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How do you find an Estate Sale Company?

Recommendations from someone is a great place to start. Your Realtor, a probate attorney or a friend can provide a recommendation. When I am looking for a “professional anything”, I always start with posting something on Facebook to see if any of my friends can recommend someone they have used.

Do a Google Search or go to a site like estatesales.net where you can type in your zip code and get a listing of companies in your area. Prioritize companies that have a website with a list of services, photos of staff, photos and listings from previous sales. Since exposure is imperative for a great estate sale, you are looking for a company that knows how to market.

Interview several on the phone and then choose 2 or 3 to interview in person.

When you meet in person, the company personnel will look over the items you have to sell and evaluate if it will be a profitable sale for both the company and you. Don’t be surprised if you show them items that you think are valuable that they say are not.

For example, my parents traveled a lot during their lives and brought home many items from overseas. One was a cuckoo clock from Germany that my father always thought would be “worth something” someday. It turns out that many people their age traveled to Europe and brought home these same type clocks. Since lots of estate sales have these for sale, they are not nearly as valuable as he thought.

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Here are 11 Questions to Ask Before You Hire An Estate Sale Company:

  1. Are they a legitimate business? Do they have business cards and a tax ID#?
  2. Can they provide references?
  3. Are they bonded and insured?
  4. How long have they been in business?
  5. How do they handle sales tax, if your state requires that it be collected?
  6. Do they have the right equipment like tables and display cases?
  7. What percentage do they get?

There are typically no up-front costs. You will sign a contract with the company and agree that they get a certain percentage of the proceeds – 25-50%. Pricing is usually based on the part of the country you are in, the estimated value of the items and how much work it will be for the company.

Is the percentage they charge a reasonable amount for your area? Ask around, but remember, cheaper isn’t always better. You often get what you pay for in the area of expertise and services offered.

Are there extra fees for things like extra staff, clean-up after the sale and handling donations to charity?  The clean-up and handling donations to charity were services I gladly paid for. Just make sure you know what your extra costs will be upfront.

  1. Do they have a contract for you to sign? If they don’t, that’s a big red flag! Always get a contract. Read it carefully and make sure the company can explain everything in it in a way that you can understand exactly what you are getting.
  2. How are they staffed? Do they have employees or do they hire contract workers for the sale?
  3. Are they set up to accept credit cards? You will sell more if people can pay with a credit card.
  4. Do they bring in extra items to YOUR sale? This is a big no-no! They should be focused on selling YOUR items, not their own or other customers.

Other things to remember:

Know that reputable estate sale companies book several months in advance, so as soon as you see that an estate sale is in your future, start “shopping around”.

Don’t “clean up” or throw ANYTHING away before meeting with the estate sale company. You would be amazed at what people buy – cleaning supplies that are half full, doorknobs that don’t work, out of date light fixtures…Let the company try to sell everything. Anything that doesn’t sell can be disposed of later.

For an even more thorough screening, you can check with the Better Business Bureau to see if there are any complaints filed against them. While there are many legitimate companies who are NOT members of the BBB, it doesn’t hurt to check.

Before you interview a company, allow friends and family time to get all of the items out that they want. Estate sale companies price according to the profit they think they can make and after you sign the contract, will ask that nothing else be removed.

I had a number of people in our family’s circle who requested items AFTER the contract was signed. Many times they would ask my dad if they could have them and he said yes. Why wouldn’t he? It was his stuff. But you have to make sure everyone understands the terms set by the company and that they need to get these items BEFORE you sign the contract.

Don’t attend the estate sale. Many companies will not allow it. You don’t want to be there hearing comments about you or your loved one’s décor or hear people haggle over the price of something that means a lot to you. Leave it to the professionals who know what they are doing.

Not sure you want to hire an estate sale company? Check out this post:

Estate Sales | Do-It-Yourself or Hire a Company?

Want to know more? Get my expanded list: 22 Questions To Ask BEFORE Hiring An Estate Sale Company.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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11 Questions To Ask BEFORE You Hire an Estate Sale Company was last modified: September 17th, 2018 by Cathy Lawdanski
October 16, 2017 5 comments
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Estate Sales | Do-It-Yourself or Hire a Company? | Things to ask: Do you have the time? Do you know how to price things? Do you know which things "sell" at an estate sale? Do you have the muscle to move and carry heavy items? Do you know how to market to the right people?
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Estate Sales | Do-It-Yourself or Hire A Company?

In June 2015, a few months after my mom died, my dad decided that keeping their home of 36 years was getting to be too much and that was time to sell it and move into assisted living. So we hired a realtor and got ready to put the house on the market. And I started thinking about estate sales as a way to sell the items that dad couldn’t take with him and no one in the family wanted.

Here’s how the rest of the story was supposed to go in my mind.

  • We would put the house on the market and have a contract at asking price within a week.
  • In 30 days the house would close.
  • Before the 30 days were up, we’d hire an estate sale company to sell the items Dad couldn’t take with him, clear out the house leaving it in move-in condition for the new owners and deposit a hefty check for the proceeds of the sale.

Don’t you just love fantasy? I hope so because all of the above was TRULY a fantasy.

I knew nothing about estate sales except that people had them when they downsized, divorced or someone died.

So…I got on the internet and started trying to find a local estate sale company. I called several and found that most of the local companies were booked 2 or 3 months in advance. So if I scheduled one of those and the house sold quickly, I ran the risk of having to sell everything myself before closing.

I had to consider the pros and cons of conducting the estate sale myself OR waiting to hire a company. Here are some things to consider if you are you in trying to make that decision for yourself.

Estate Sales (Tag Sales) are held when someone can no longer keep all of the “stuff” they have accumulated. It is usually held at a time in a person’s life when there has been a death, divorce or the time has come to downsize.

This is something that may seem like nothing more than a big garage sale. Why not do it yourself? That is certainly a possibility. But there are several ways that estate sales are different from garage sales.

  • Garage sales are smaller and are filled with items you WANT to get rid of.
  • Estate sales are much larger and involve a majority of one’s possessions. You are selling most of the items because it has become a necessity. Not because you want to.
  • In an estate sale, some of the items you sell have personal and sentimental value.

So, is an estate sale something you should tackle on your own? Before taking on this task, it’s important to ask these questions:

Will I make more money if I don’t have to pay a commission to an estate sale company?

You might. Companies usually take 25-50% of the gross from estate sale proceeds. But there are other things to consider:

Pricing is important and will be a big factor in how much you will make.

Do you have a background in appraisal that will enable you to determine items of true monetary value and what people will pay for them? That Hummel collection of grandmas is worth a lot less than you think.

Are you experienced enough with estate sales to know what people who shop them are willing to purchase?

Many things that the average person thinks are valuable are typically not the most popular items at an estate sale. Why? Because items like china, crystal, silver and collectibles are sold at EVERY estate sale.  Being so widely available decreases their value.

But items like rusty hinges, half bottles of shampoo and Tupperware from the 70’s may be just what people are looking for! Seriously. This is not hyperbole! Things that you would throw in the trash are sometimes what people want.

Do you have the time?

Most estate sales are held over the weekend – Friday, Saturday, and Sunday – all day.

In planning the sale, you’ll need time (maybe a month, if you don’t have other responsibilities (like a full-time job and a family) to go through every nook and cranny of the home and decide what to keep and what will be sold.

Items will need to be priced and displayed. Do you have a number of tables, display cases and hanging racks on which to display items?

Do you know how to display items in the best way to get the best price?

Do you have enough muscle?

Do you have people who will help you carry stuff up from the basement, down from the attic and move heavy furniture and appliances?

How will you advertise?

One of the major factors in a successful estate sale is getting the right people in the door.

You can put something on Facebook and Craig’s list.

You can tell your friends and family.

But you need buyers who buy estate sale items and these may not be the same people who would respond to your marketing.

Do you have enough people to help?

In addition to help pre-sale, you need people at the sale to take money, do crowd control (not let too many people in at one time) and provide security.

Shoplifting and tag switching are common at estate sales and thieves are adept at what they do. Do you know what to look for or how to spot a thief?

Do you have a thick skin?

How will you feel after a day or so of listening to comments about you or your loved one’s taste in home décor or disputing the price of items that hold great personal value to you?

Are you able to process credit card payments?

You can make it a cash-only sale, but you will typically sell more if people can pay with a credit card.

Does your neighborhood allow estate sales?

What are the parking regulations in your community?

If someone were to get hurt on your property during the sale, will your homeowner’s policy cover that?

If your neighborhood does NOT allow estate sales, there are companies that will load up all the items and sell them off-site or at an online auction.

What will you do with items that aren’t sold?

Do you have the time, manpower, vehicle and muscle to deliver the leftovers to the dump or to a charity? Or do you know a charity that will pick these items up?

What about cleanup and preparing the house for sale, if that is your plan?

If after considering these questions, you’ve decided to hire an Estate Sale Company and NOT go the DIY route, how do you find the best one? I’ll cover that next week in 11 Things to Ask Before You Hire An Estate Sale Company.

Like this post? Think an estate sale might be in your future? Pin it!

Estate Sales | Do-It-Yourself or Hire a Company? | Things to ask: Do you have the time? Do you know how to price things? Do you know which things "sell" at an estate sale? Do you have the muscle to move and carry heavy items? Do you know how to market to the right people?

 

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Estate Sales | Do-It-Yourself or Hire A Company? was last modified: September 17th, 2018 by Cathy Lawdanski
October 10, 2017 7 comments
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12 Tips for a Fun Family Beach Vacation | How to Choose A Vacation Rental | VRBO | Galveston
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12 Tips for a Super-Fun Family Beach Vacation

We just got back from our annual family beach vacation in Galveston, Texas. We always rent a home through VRBO and have a great time just being together. Over the years, our family has grown and changed with the addition of grandchildren. And every time we take a trip together, I learn something new!

 12 Tips for a Super-Fun Family Beach Vacation

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.  I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

Choosing a House

Plan early to ensure you get a house that meets your needs in the location you want to be in. We reserved our house in January for an August vacation. We have always found stellar rentals on VRBO. But you have to do your research and read the fine print!

  1. Think about the location you want:
  • Is it important to have an unobstructed view of the beach?
  • How far do you want to be from the beach?
  • Do you want to be able to drive your car on the beach? Make sure you are in a location that allows cars on the beach.
  • Will you be walking to the beach? Think about who is in your party and how far they can walk. Last year we rented a lovely home in a beach community that was advertised as “1/2 a block” from the beach. In truth, it was about 3 blocks from the bridge that crossed over to the beach. Not a bad walk for the adults in our party, but we had a 2-year-old with us. And since we thought it was a short walk, we did not bring a stroller or wagon for her. So getting to the beach was not convenient.
  • Is the home advertised as “across the street from the beach”? What street? A 2-lane road that is not busy OR a busy 5-lane highway that is very hard to cross safely on foot?

Read the fine print

2.  Read the reviews. Make sure they are current – within the last year. If someone left a negative review and the owner has not responded with how that problem was fixed – beware.

3.  Read what is included with the rental so that you can make your packing list. Are these items included?

  • Fully stocked kitchen with cooking and dining utensils
  • Beach towels
  • Bath towels
  • Bed linens
  • Grill
  • Cable TV & WiFi

It is not essential that the house is stocked with these items. But you do need to know what is included so that you know what you need to bring with you. Also, if TV and WiFi access is important, be sure and check to see if that is provided.

Plan Your Meals

We tend to go to the beach and eat all of our meals at the house. If this is what you will be doing:

4.  Plan your meals ahead of time and buy your groceries before your come. Don’t forget things like PAM, foil, seasonings – things that you have at home and take for granted.

5.  Keep your meals simple. We cooked our meat on the grill each evening – bratwurst, hot dogs, fajitas, steak & chicken. I also made this delicious broccoli salad that keeps well for a few days in the refrigerator.

6.  Is there a grocery store close by? Or do you have to drive for a while to get groceries? At our location, the closest store was 7 miles from the house. It had the few things we forgot, but at jacked up prices! The closest large grocery store was 30 miles away, so we sucked it up and paid the higher prices.

7.  If you want to eat out, what restaurants are close by? Do they meet the dietary needs of your family?

Things you might need if you are traveling with kids.

We had 3 kids with us – 6 months, 3 and 9.  Quite a range.

8.  You might need:

  • Portacrib
  • High chair
  • Baby gate if it is a 2 story house
  • Beach toys
  • Wagon to carry stuff to the beach. I bought this one that folds up and it was the best purchase I made for this whole trip!  It held our towels, life jackets, boogie board, drinks – anything we wanted to take down to the beach.

Stuff for family fun:

9.  This rolling cooler is great for hauling drinks and perishable snacks to the beach. And because it is tall, we carried our wine and other adult libations in it!

10.  A big puzzle to work on all week. The adults in our family and our 9-year-old grandson enjoyed this – especially on the few afternoons when we had rain.

11. Games. Card and board games are always good. This year’s games were Speak Out and Hedbanz. Speak Out says it is for kids 16 and up, but it was great to play as a family with our 9-year-old. Batteries were needed for Hedbanz, so we didn’t get to play that one. So…don’t forget the batteries if your game needs them!

12.  Goody bags – I always make little goody bags for everyone at the start of our vacation. Just for fun. Most of these items were purchased at the Dollar Store. Here’s what they got this year:

  • 6-month-old grandson – reusable swim diaper and a  nautical themed sleeper.
  • 3-year-old granddaughter – water shoes, sunglasses, swim goggles & beach toys.
  • 9-year-old grandson – boogie board, beach towel, & a woven straw beach mat
  • Adult daughters – flip flops & nail polish
  • Son-in-law – a bottle of bourbon

A little bit of thought on what you need. A little bit of research about where you’re going. And a whole lot of love and gratitude for the time spent together. That’s all it takes for a super fun family vacation.

 

You might also like: 5 Tips for An Awesome Multi-generational Family Vacation

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12 Tips for a Super-Fun Family Beach Vacation was last modified: July 27th, 2021 by Cathy Lawdanski
August 15, 2017 10 comments
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13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School Whether You Live Near Or Far | Grandparents can have a positive influence on their grandchild's education by fostering a love a reading, playing games and putting together puzzles, being present and talking about their own educational experiences. Read about all 13 Ways Here!
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13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School Whether You Live Near Or Far

Since back to school season is upon us, I’ve been thinking about my grandson who will be entering 4th grade and the two other grandkids who won’t be far behind him! If you are a grandparent you know how much you love those little stinkers and that there is not anything in the world you wouldn’t do for them. Do you know that whether you live near the grandkids or far away that you can help your grandchild succeed at school? And that starts when they are babies – not just when they go to Kindergarten.

So, in honor of “back-to-school” season, I’ve asked my friend and long-time educator, Shelley Merchant to guest post on this topic. Shelley’s blog is Taming Frenzy and her mission is to help busy working women improve their lives while managing the multiple demands on their time!

13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School

My friends who are grandparents tell me it’s the most wonderful experience ever! A little bundle of pure love that you get to send home to Mommy and Daddy when you’re tired. My own mother used to describe being a grandparent as “joy multiplied, worry divided.”

As a former teacher and administrator, I’ve seen first hand how a grandparent’s influence, skills, perspective, and resources can have a great impact on a child’s education.

Here is my list of  13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School

 

Foster a Love of Reading

A child who loves to read will become a good reader. And a good reader has the foundation to learn anything.

  1. Make story time with your grandchild a priority from the time they’re born. From the time they’re old enough to sit on your lap, read books to them. Children learn a lot from this:
  • How to hold a book.
  • That the marks on the pages represent words.
  • How pages are turned.
  • That pictures add context to the written word.
  • That reading is an activity which can calm us, excite us, inspire us, teach us, and transport us to new and exciting worlds.

Research shows that children who are read to from an early age approach reading as a desirable activity and are more likely to become life-long readers. If you did nothing else, this is an incredible gift!

  1. Give books as gifts and keep age appropriate books at your house.
  2. Take them to the library or the bookstore. While there you can:
  • Point out that there are many different kinds of stories. Explain that different people enjoy different genres and that all have value.
  • Introduce them to a wide variety of magazines that are published and let them peruse some that are written for children their age.

Play Games and Put Together Puzzles Together

  1. Play Cards and Board Games – Games like Old Maid, Go Fish and Checkers help your grandchild master and refine skills while they are having fun. Games help children learn to count, recognize shapes, colors, and symbols.
  2. Put Together Puzzles – Puzzles teach kids to look at the big picture while also focusing on minute details.

Playing games and putting together puzzles help children learn:

  • How to take turns.
  • How to work and play cooperatively with others.
  • How to pay attention.
  • How to focus effort and energy.

All of these are skills that a child needs to learn and that can have a major impact on their readiness for school and their ability to interact successfully with the school environment.

Be Present

How much you are able to be present is largely affected by how close you live to your grandchild, but as you are able:

  1. Attend events at school – Open House, special programs and sporting events.
  2. Have lunch at school with your grandchild.
  3. Volunteer at their school.

Throughout their lives

  1. Talk about the importance of education. Give specific examples of how you used something you learned in school. This helps children understand that even if they don’t think a subject or concept is important right now, it may be in the future.
  2. Take your grandchild to an event at your alma mater or nearby college. Something like attending a football game is exciting and very likely to make the prospect of attending college appealing.
  3. Continue to model reading! Talk to your grandchild about what type of books and/or magazines you like to read. Let them see you reading the newspaper, your Kindle, or articles on the computer.
  4. Talk about your occupation. Why did you choose the career path you did? How did it fit with your natural skills and interests? If you were choosing today, would you make the same choices?
  5. Contribute to their college fund! Money set aside will grow right along with the child. This sets the expectation that education beyond high school, be it college, trade or technical training is a good thing.

You’re a bigger influence than you realize

It’s easy to think that parents are the only ones who will shape a child’s attitudes when it comes to learning. But grandparents have more of an influence than you might think.

A listening ear or encouraging word when they are frustrated or discouraged can be just the thing your grandchild needs to keep trying.

8 Things All Kids Need To Hear About Learning

Whether you live near a grandchild or far away, your support and participation will have a lasting impact on your grandchild’s love of learning!

More from Shelley:

10 Quick Tips For A Great School Year

 

 

 

 

 

 

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13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School Whether You Live Near Or Far was last modified: May 13th, 2019 by Shelley Merchant
August 1, 2017 20 comments
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Outer Banks Girls Trip 5 Fun Things to Do | OBX | Lunch at Aqua | Wright Brothers National Memorial | Currituck Beach Lighthouse | Wild Horse Adventure Tours | Dirty Dick's Crab House | Outer Banks Vacation | Outer Banks Travel Guide | Outer Banks, NC | Things to do in Outer Banks
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Outer Banks Girls’ Trip | 5 Fun Things To Do in Outer Banks, NC

My Outer Banks Girls’ Trip started a little differently than many of the trips I take with my favorite travel buddies. Harriet & I tagged along with Cassie who was babysitting her precious grandson in Norfolk, VA for the week. He was a doll and didn’t deter us one bit from having a blast and laughing until we peed our pants (one of the “perks” of middle age)!

The Outer Banks of North Carolina (or OBX as the locals call it) are only about a 1 ½ hour drive from Norfolk. An easy day trip for Harriet & I. Here are the 5 fun things we experienced in this beautiful part of the country.

Wright Brothers National Memorial

Our first stop was at the Wright Brothers National Memorial in Kitty Hawk, NC. The memorial that honors these two brothers who experimented with flight in the early 1900’s and eventually succeeded is a National Park. It costs $7 per person to get in and your admission ticket is good for 5 days.

Although the actual museum is under renovation until Fall 2018, there is plenty to see on the grounds:

  • Reproductions of the Wright Brothers’ camp buildings
  • Replicas of their 1902 Glider and 1903 Flyer
  • The monument commemorating the Wright Brothers’ achievement at the top of Big Kill Devil Hill

History and aviation buffs will enjoy a trip to the Wright Brothers National Memorial.

Aqua Restaurant and Spa in Duck, NC

Outer Banks Girls Trip 5 Fun Things to Do | OBX | Lunch at Aqua | Wright Brothers National Memorial | Currituck Beach Lighthouse | Wild Horse Adventure Tours | Dirty Dick's Crab House | Outer Banks Vacation | Outer Banks Travel Guide | Outer Banks, NC | Things to do in Outer Banks

View of the Sound from Aqua

Down the road a bit is the charming little town of Duck, NC. Filled with restaurants and cute shops, this is the place we decided to stop for lunch. We enjoyed cocktails and fish tacos that were fresh and wonderful while overlooking the breathtaking views of the sound. I loved their Tito Fresco cocktail so much, I made my own version when we got home. Check it out!

Currituck Beach Lighthouse

The Outer Banks are known for their beautiful lighthouses. The one closest to Duck was the Currituck Beach Lighthouse.  This gorgeous lighthouse made of red brick is 162 ft. tall and was first lit in 1875. Visitors can climb up the 214 winding steps to the top for panoramic views of Currituck Sound, the Atlantic Ocean, and the Currituck Outer Banks.

Wild Horse Adventure Tours

Have you seen the great pictures of wild horses running together along the ocean’s shoreline? Seeing wild horses in action is the idea behind Wild Horse Adventure Tours and it was one of the main reasons we ventured to the Outer Banks.

Wild Horse Adventure Tours offer a 2-hour long tour along the beach and through the dunes of the Outer Banks in open air Hummers, designed to give you the best views of the OBX Wild Corolla Spanish Mustangs.

An experienced guide will drive you along the beautifully untouched beaches and through the dunes, where you will see these wild horses in their natural habitat.

Although it is rare to actually see the horses running along the beaches, they are gorgeous and majestic, no matter what they are doing.

We booked the day ahead, which is a good idea. There are a number of wild horse tours in the area. We saw some of them in lots of different vehicles – including the back of a pickup! That looked uncomfortable! Take the Wild Horse Adventure Tour and ride in the Hummer. A 2-hour ride in the dunes in an uncomfortable vehicle would make for a long afternoon….

Dirty Dick’s Crab House

We ended the day with a huge seafood dinner at Dirty Dick’s Crab House. We had seen signs for Dirty Dick’s along the highway all day and just had to see it for ourselves. Since I have a juvenile sense of humor, I couldn’t wait to post the drink napkin they gave me that said “I got my crabs at Dirty Dick’s” on Facebook.

Anyway – I had a seafood platter of delicious, fresh seafood and the most wonderful AUTHENTIC Key Lime Pie I had ever tasted. Dirty Dick’s is also open for breakfast and brunch. It was packed on a weeknight – a sure sign of good food and a great reputation!

If your travel plans take you anywhere near OBX, be sure to take in a few of these sights!   We’re so glad that we did!

You might also like:  

5 Tips for Traveling With Friends

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Outer Banks Girls’ Trip | 5 Fun Things To Do in Outer Banks, NC was last modified: September 17th, 2018 by Cathy Lawdanski
July 18, 2017 19 comments
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Looking for a delicious, refreshing cocktail? Try the Cucumber Vodka Refresher. A cocktail made with Vodka, St. Germain, cucumber infused water, & lemon simple syrup | vodka cocktails | summer cocktails
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Cucumber Vodka Refresher | My Take on Aqua’s Tito Fresco

I’m a gin & tonic girl. Specifically a Bombay Sapphire & tonic girl. I RARELY deviate from that cocktail when I go out. But on a recent vacation to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, I found myself eating lunch on the water at a restaurant called Aqua. The cocktail menu included a cucumber/vodka drink called a Tito Fresco that sounded so refreshing. So since I was on vacation, I decided to be adventurous and give it a try. I was NOT disappointed. In fact, I loved that drink so much, that I recreated it when I got home! I’ve called my version the Cucumber Vodka Refresher!

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.  I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

Cucumber Vodka Refresher

 

Ingredients for one Cucumber Vodka Refresher

  • 2 oz. vodka*
  • 1 ½ oz. St. Germain
  • 2 TBS. lemon simple syrup
  • Handful of chopped cucumbers
  • Cucumber infused water

Recipe:

Make the cucumber infused water the day before by adding ½ sliced cucumber to 1 quart of water and refrigerate.

Make the lemon infused simple syrup by combing ½ cup fresh lemon juice and ½ cup sugar in a saucepan. Cook over low heat until sugar is dissolved and cool. Keeps up to a week in the refrigerator. Do you have one of these cool gadgets to squeeze lemons?

To make the cocktail:

  • Put a handful of chopped cucumber and a handful of ice in a tall glass (I like these).
  • Add vodka, St. Germain and lemon simple syrup.
  • Fill the rest of the glass with cucumber-infused water.
  • Stir and enjoy!

*The original was made with Tito’s. We made a couple of batches with what we had on hand – Grey Goose and Ketel One. All were fantastic, so just use your favorite vodka! I also want to try it with Black-Eyed Vodka, a vodka developed by my college friend,  Nancy’s husband. How cool is it that I know someone with their own vodka distillery?

Here’s another of my favorite summer cocktails – Sparkling Lemon Berry Cocktail.

 

 

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Cucumber Vodka Refresher | My Take on Aqua’s Tito Fresco was last modified: May 21st, 2021 by Cathy Lawdanski
July 11, 2017 22 comments
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About Me

About Me

Cathy Lawdanski

My name is Cathy. I am an over 50 wife, mother and grandmother who is embracing new challenges and adventures that come from being on "this side" of 50. Join me on the journey!

My Side of 50 is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

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