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What To Wear To A Funeral. Four different looks for women from their fifties through their seventies from My Side of 50 and Jodie's Touch of Style
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What To Wear To A Funeral

Do you ever get stuck on what to wear to a funeral? When my dad died in 2015, I had NOTHING to wear to his funeral. Nothing in my closet that fit anyway. So I spent a day at the mall wondering around aimlessly, trying on NEW clothes that ALSO DIDN’T FIT (as if I didn’t already feel bad enough) and went home empty handed.

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission.  I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

Would I just have to wear my Talbots “generously cut” shorts and t-shirt that I had worn all summer as I drove back and forth to the hospital every day? No, that wouldn’t do. In the South, we still “dress” for a funeral. Maybe not quite as formally as we used to, but I wasn’t going to go to my Dad’s funeral looking less than my best.

 

What To Wear To A Funeral

What To Wear To A Funeral. Four different looks for women from their fifties through their seventies from My Side of 50 and Jodie's Touch of Style

Thank the Lord for the wonderful ladies at my local Chico’s. I walked into that store after the disastrous trip to the mall, told them “My dad died, his funeral is tomorrow and I don’t have anything to wear.” Those kind ladies helped me figure out my size (because in the world of Chico’s, overweight women in the 50’s can still be a size 2), parked me in a dressing room and started bringing me clothes.

I walked out of there with black pants, a black top with leather details (similar), a really cute and edgy kind of vest (similar) and the jewelry (similar) to go with it. I felt great. And since we were on a roll, they even outfitted me for a shower I had to attend the following weekend. I will be forever grateful to those sales ladies. I would never have been able to figure all that on my own.

So….when Jodie from Jodie’s Touch of Style asked me to partner with her on this style post, I thought, no problem. I’ll just wear what I did to Dad’s funeral. The only problem is, I love the components of that outfit so much that I have worn them to death and am sick of them.

So I went to Macy’s and got a couple of cute new pieces for the post, got them home and hated them.

What to do? My sister-in-law who was visiting and was my photographer was about to go home. I had to figure out something. So I decided to “shop my closet” and here is the outfit I came up with. I’m kinda proud of myself!

 

 

I started with a base of black. The Amazing Black Pants from Soft Surroundings and the Simple Comfort Top from Covered Perfectly. I wear both of these all the time. The pants have an elastic waist, but they are tailored in such a way that you’d never know it!

The Covered Perfectly top is so soft. It’s thin enough to layer, thick enough so that everyone doesn’t “see your business” and long enough so that it’s not riding up.

Then I found this Tahari by ASL Textured Crochet Knit Jacket that I bought for formal night on the Alaskan Cruise we took last summer. It’s “lacey” enough that you could wear to a more formal occasion, but casual enough for a daytime event. The pattern is gorgeous and I love the fit of Tahari jackets.

 

To accessorize, I wore my Kendra Scott Aiden Pendant Necklace. I usually wear a combination of gold and silver, so this necklace is perfect. Funny story – when my husband asked what I wanted for Christmas, I put 3 Kendra Scott necklaces on my list with the idea that he would pick one. He bought all 3! I’m not complaining. I guess he figured if he bought them all, there was no way he could get in trouble.

My Cloisonne Bracelet was a gift from a dear friend that I wear ALL THE TIME. I wear a lot of black and white so that it goes with everything.

 

And I just have to show you my ring. The diamond in the middle is the diamond from my Mom’s engagement ring. The 4 diamonds on the side are from the 10 diamond ring that Dad gave her on their 10th anniversary. It’s also two-tone. I wear it every day. Feels like I have my Mom close to me all the time.

Now over to Jodie’s Touch of Style to see the outfits that these 3 ladies are wearing.

I love this blog. Each week, Jodie has a fashion theme and shows outfits for ladies in their 50’s (she’s the 50’s model), 60’s (her stepmom, Nancy is the 60’s model), and 70’s (her mom, Charlotte is the 70’s model). They are just lovely.

Here’s a sneak peek. I love that they feature some options besides black. Click here to get the details on their looks!

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19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies

19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies | Ways To Help Your Grieving Friend. Do you know how to help when your friend loses a loved one? Or do you want to help but are paralyzed because you don't know what to do? Here are ways to help immediately after you hear of someone's passing. How to help before and at the funeral. How to help after the funeral when everyone leaves.

 

What To Wear To A Funeral. Four different looks for women from their fifties through their seventies from My Side of 50 and Jodie's Touch of Style

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What To Wear To A Funeral was last modified: June 2nd, 2022 by Cathy Lawdanski
March 30, 2017 15 comments
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10 Tips For "Sharing" Your Adult Children On The Holidays by Guest Blogger Joan Stamen, the author behind Gramcrackercrumbs.com
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10 Tips To Ease The Stress Of “Sharing” Your Adult Children On Holidays

Here we are at the end of October with Thanksgiving just 4 weeks away! No doubt, if you are a midlife woman and have and have adult children, the conversations of who will be where and at what time have begun. If your kids are married or have significant others, you will likely be in the position to have to consider their “in-laws” plans when you make your schedule. And in the case of blended families, we have a whole slew of parents, grandparents, and steps.  Why can’t everybody just go home to their family of origin and meet up after the holidays?



Today, Joan Stommen, the mom and grandma behind the blog, GramcrackerCrumbs offers her perspective based on 20 years experience with all of this holiday “sharing”. Joan has 2 kids and 5 grandchildren who call her, what else?  Gramcraker!

 

Adult Children and The Holidays – 10 Tips to Ease the Stress of Sharing

Many of you have probably started shopping for gifts, made travel reservations or are busy unpacking decorations for the coming winter holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hannukah will soon be here. Have you thought about the actual day of celebration? If your adult children are married or living with significant others; whether you have grandchildren near or far….there are bound to be some question marks about where, when and with whom. After years of familiar routine, change rears its head when our kids grow up. For the past twenty years, my holidays were unpredictable and seemingly different every year. As needs arose and life interfered, I found some solutions that worked for us. Hopefully, you’ll find some soothing memory making ideas here.

  1. Remind yourself that it comes under the heading of letting go.

We send them off to college, help with wedding preparations and applaud their home and job choices. Welcoming another family member is how the empty nest begins to fill again. Our son was the first to marry and we loved the bonus of another daughter; but they married and settled in Michigan; several states away from us in Georgia. I think there was only time for a sigh of relief before it hit me…things would be different now.

 

  1. Respect that the newlyweds may want to host a big holiday themselves.

They married in late September and had an autumn honeymoon. The next thing we knew, they wanted to host Thanksgiving. My husband and daughter and I drove north, caught up in the excitement of the newlyweds hosting their first holiday. Having Thanksgiving dinner prepared by someone else and spending time with the other parents was a treat. But being invited back for Christmas was much harder. I didn’t like it and may have whined to my son, “please come to us, we always cut down a tree, decorate it, go to Christmas Eve Mass, get up at the crack of dawn tooogetherrrrr.” Her parents were not able to go, so my son’s pleading that their first Christmas was a really big deal touched my heart. Imagine my delight discovering he followed our same traditions; leaving milk and cookies for Santa, opening a gift on Christmas Eve, making us wait in the hallway Christmas morning until he turned on the lights and exclaimed, “SANTA WAS HERE!”



  1. When it’s your turn to host a family gathering, invite the son or daughter-in-law’s parents.

After our daughter married and bought a home nearby, my husband and I mostly hosted holiday dinners. Our son-in-law’s parents lived out of state, so when they were in town, we included them as well. I never realized in those early years that the other parents would soon become lifelong friends.

 

  1. Accept when you’re invited to their homes. Plans and places can change, but you’ll all be together and the kids will be all right. 

Sharing a Thanksgiving with my daughter-in-law’s blended family; another with my son-in-law’s extended family….so many that a big hall was rented….were two of the best times we ever had. Your children will beam as they watch the connection of their families grow. Thirteen years ago on a lovely, snowy evening, the young couple invited their moms out for drinks after a potluck Thanksgiving dinner. As the four of us relaxed, his mom and I blurted out at the same time, “when are we getting a grandchild?” We’d held our tongues for three years so we felt entitled. I loved us being on the same page; this favorite friend I now call my “grandmother-in-law.”

  1. Discuss your preferences as soon as possible before the holiday.

Whether it’s religious purposes, enough space to hold everyone, who really wants to cook, travel or medical considerations; early planning will make it easier for everyone. Letters and conversations throughout the year will make the ’planners’ more comfortable in expressing their wishes. Getting to know the other family members not only makes holiday preparations easier but builds a camaraderie that can only strengthen your kids’ bond in all aspects of marriage.

  1. If you find you’ll be on your own some Thanksgiving, Christmas or other event…take off!

Don’t stay home and fume or fret; take a road trip, make reservations for holiday dinner at a nice restaurant, head to the Bahamas. There will be years when all your kids go to their in-laws or have plans with pals. My husband and I traveled to San Antonio, Texas one Christmas Day, ate dinner at a Howard Johnson and toured the Alamo. The rest of the week we took day trips and enjoyed the Riverwalk events at night. It tickled us knowing we could have a blast and never missed Christmas with the kids at all!



  1. When the grandkids finally come along!

Always respect the new mother’s wishes first….especially the first year. Use common sense and again, discuss it well ahead of time. My son and daughter-in-law moved south to be near us when their first daughter was born. I felt great peace and contentment to do the holidays “my way” again; envisioning my daughter and the new little family all under our roof. But the new mom wanted Thanksgiving; hosting us and her parents from out of town. We hadn’t seen them since the wedding four years earlier and we had lots to catch up on about this new baby girl. Since we got to see our first grandchild frequently, we didn’t mind her other grandparents taking over the feeding, holding and rocking for a few days.

  1. Stagger the holidays by years if all parties are acceptable.

As time goes by, let your kids decide what works for them. They not only have in-laws to celebrate with but will want to host themselves some years. Some families only want Thanksgiving or Easter; others like to switch off. Open communication and flexibility is the key. Believe me….the day will come when going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house becomes the best for everyone!

  1. If everyone lives close enough, stagger the times for opening holiday presents. 

The whole magical scene will still be there later that afternoon, the next morning or even the next week. Eighteen years ago when our first grandchild came along, I insisted Santa would come down our chimney too…and fill stockings for everyone! Needless to say, he came down every year after and I had four more stockings embroidered with each grandchild’s name. I don’t recommend this; not only can it be costly, but potentially awkward too. It was a bit sticky for my daughter initially. She and her husband wanted their own Christmas morning ritual with their children and liked having Christmas Dinner at the other grandparents’ house. We agreed to wait until the following morning to open the gifts around our tree. Seeing the delight on little faces as they ran in the door made it all worthwhile. One year we spent Christmas morning with our California family; flew home that evening and had Christmas again the next morning with our Georgia family. (You know Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Leprechauns come even if you’re not home, right?)

  1. If you’re a long distant grandparent unable to join the celebration, you can still be present.

Just make sure you follow the parent’s suggestions first, then your grandchild’s request and lastly your own surprises. If you’ll miss a Thanksgiving or Easter Dinner, send things that can be included such as a candle or special prayer, inexpensive decorations, stickers or a new shirt or dress for the occasion. When I lived on the other side of the country from my older grandkids; I’d wrap and send gifts to go under their tree; then after Christmas, I’d send anything Santa had left under mine, including the filled stockings! Needless to say, we spoiled the kids and kept UPS and FedEx in business.

Now that I’m a widow and the grandkids are getting older, it amuses me that my son and daughter now want to ‘share’ mom! The first Christmas on my own, I went to my son’s, the next year to my daughter’s. Now he’s moved nearby and would like me to join in their holiday festivities. But I don’t see my daughter’s family as often, so it’d be worth a plane ticket to their house or….I may decide to spend my holidays doing something completely different. After years of appreciating their parents’ flexibility, I’m confident they’ll both be fine with whatever I decide.

What are your tips for peacefully “sharing” your kids and grandkids during the holidays?

Did you find this post helpful? Share it on Facebook or Pinterest!

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Building A Good Relationship With Your Adult Children

Adult Children and the Holidays – New Perspectives On Sharing

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10 Tips To Ease The Stress Of "Sharing" Your Adult Children On Holidays | Picture of Adult Daughter hugging her mother

10 Tips To Ease The Stress Of “Sharing” Your Adult Children On Holidays was last modified: November 15th, 2021 by Joan Stommen
October 26, 2016 45 comments
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Author Doreen Mcgettigan shares how her holiday plans and perspective have grown and changed since her adult children began to get married and have children
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Adult Children And The Holidays – New Perspectives on Sharing, Part 1

 

Adult Children And the Holidays

The holidays are approaching and those of us who fall into the “midlife women” category likely have adult children who are married or have significant others. Some of us even have grandchildren. All that means is there are now other families within our sphere with whom we have to share our kids and grandkids!

I don’t know about you, but the first year I was faced with this, it was tough. And it had nothing to do with the in-laws or the actual logistics where my kids were on a given holiday. I think it was just one of those “letting go of” moments that I wasn’t emotionally prepared for.

Today’s post is from author and blogger Doreen Mcgettigan. Doreen and her husband have 5 grown children and 13 grandchildren. Here is how their holidays and Doreen’s perspective have grown and changed since those first holidays after her daughters married.


Stress-Free Holidays – Sharing Your Adult Children

I admit to being 100% selfish when it came to the holidays after my daughters got married. Of course, they would be home for each and every holiday with me and their siblings. We lived close by and saw each other nearly every day, but the holidays were different. The attendance of my adult children was a must.

We decided Christmas Eve would be spent at our house and Christmas Day they were free to visit with the in-laws. For Thanksgiving, they would have dinner with us and dessert with the in-laws.

Once my two oldest daughters had babies things started to change. My oldest daughter decided she wanted to have the holidays at her house so she could invite us and her in-laws. She’s the great compromiser. The other daughter’s in-laws were invited too.

We all chipped in by providing side dishes and drinks. I was upset at first but quickly realized how stress-free it was to get dressed, go to her house, enjoy the meal, the babies and then go home to my nice clean kitchen.

It worked out so well that she became the hostess for every single holiday for years.

Then my son got married and it all changed. My daughter-in-law wanted to be with her mother and her siblings for every holiday. Her family had their big celebration on Christmas Eve too. I was in trouble. Not only were holidays different, it was different with their babies too. My daughters called me several times a day while they were expecting. My daughter-in-law called her mother. I was so hurt at first but realized it’s different with daughters. I had to accept her closeness with her mother and realized how my daughter’s mothers-in-laws must have felt over the years. I felt so guilty. I conceded that we would take turns and simply make sure no one in our family was alone for any holiday.



Just to complicate our family more, I remarried and became step-mother to a young man. He often wanted to spend holidays with his mother and his step-sister. I told my husband we would just have him over as often as he could visit and it didn’t make any difference if it was a holiday or not.

What I won’t give up is the one- week family beach vacation we take every year. All the kids, their spouses and the grandchildren are invited. I encourage them all to at least come for a few days if they can’t spend the entire week. The cousins love the opportunity to play together all week. I live for and plan that week all year.

My stepson is still single. I’m sure he will eventually marry and have children and that will be another learning experience for me. We will be sharing him with his mother and his in-laws. I am so grateful his mother and I get along. That makes a big difference. I am again resigned to be happy with whatever time we do spend together and consciously choose to make that time as comfortable as possible so they want to spend time with us.

For me, it’s become all about the memories. With 13 grandchildren it is so important to make the time during the year to make each one of them feel special like they are our favorite. We enjoy coming up with just the right activity for each child. There are opportunities to create those beautiful memories anytime. We simply have to want to and then we must do the work needed to make it possible. We also have to make the time.



This year I want to work on spending more one on one time with my grown children. It’s been all about the grandchildren for so long now, I’m missing the closeness with my kids.

I am not willing to cause strife over attendance at a holiday meal. I am more interested in being part of a family that can get together anytime and make it a memorable holiday.

How do you work out the “sharing” of your kids and grandkids over the holidays? Share in the comments below.

Did you like this post? If you found it helpful, share it on Facebook or Pinterest!

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Author Doreen Mcgettigan shares how her holiday plans and perspective have grown and changed since her adult children began to get married and have children

 

 

 

 

Adult Children And The Holidays – New Perspectives on Sharing, Part 1 was last modified: November 15th, 2021 by Doreen Mcgettigan
October 19, 2016 51 comments
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Alaskan Cruise Packing List based on what I took and what I actually wore | #cruise #alaskancruise #alaskancruisepackinglist | What to Pack for an Alaskan Cruise
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Packing For An Alaskan Cruise

Mid-summer is the high season for Alaskan cruises. I just returned from the Celebrity Solstice 7-day Tracy Arm Fjord Cruise and must say, it was the trip of a lifetime. I highly recommend it. But trying to PACK for it was a bear! Here’s what I learned about packing for an Alaskan Cruise.

Packing For An Alaskan Cruise

Updated November 1, 2021

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.  I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

“Dress in Layers” They Said

When I asked people who had been what to take, everyone said “dress in layers”. What did that mean? Did it mean long underwear, ski pants, heavy sweater, thermal socks, fur lined boots, parka, hat, gloves and a scarf? Those are the layers I dressed in on a trip to Germany in December.

Or did it mean, capris, t-shirt and a vest?

Not knowing, I packed EVERYTHING and ended up paying a $100 heavy bag charge. And I only ended up wearing about 1/3 of what I took.



Here’s what you should know about what to wear on Alaskan Cruises:

  • When you are inside on the ship, you can dress like you do at home because you are in a climate-controlled environment.
  • When you are outside on the ship, it will be colder. It’s windy and you will be sailing past glaciers. To just take a walk outside, jeans, sweater and a jacket (I had a leather jacket) will be fine. If you are spending a lot of time outside, bundle up a little more. Maybe a hat, gloves and a scarf.
  • Evenings.  If you are eating in the dining room with the scheduled seating, there is a suggested dress code each night. My regular evening wear consisted of black pants and a nice top – much like I would wear at home to eat out at a nice restaurant. My husband wore slacks and a button down.
  • Most cruises have done away with the “formal night”. Celebrity designates two nights as “evening chic” where a cocktail dress or dressy pants and fancy top are acceptable. I wore nice black pants and a lace top. My husband wore slacks, a button down and sport coat.
  • Shore excursions. On all our shore excursions, the temperatures were mild, ranging from about 55 – 70 degrees. It was windy, so it did feel a little cooler at times. I was fine in jeans and a long sleeved tee with my windbreaker. The windbreaker added a little extra warmth, shielded me against the wind, could have served as raingear if needed and was easily folded up and put in my purse when I took it off. This is my favorite windbreaker because it folds up into its own little pocket. So easy to carry in your bag until you need it without a lot of bulk.



Here is what I packed for our cruise, including a pre-cruise overnight stay in Seattle.

What I packed What I wore Notes
4 light sweaters 3
3 heavy sweaters 1
4 long sleeved tees 4
1 heavy hoodie 0
3 pairs cropped pants 2
1 light weight vest 1
4 pairs jeans 4
2 pairs black slacks 1
3 dressy tops for dinner 3
1 flat sandals 1
1 strappy heels 1
1 pair wedges 1
2 pairs tennis shoes 1 I took 2 in case of rain and one pair got wet. I would do this again.
1 pair black flats 1 Really didn’t need – could have worn tennis shoes.
2 sets workout clothes 1 Only worked out once.
1 warm scarf 0
1 warm hat 0
1 set long underwear 0
15 pairs of socks 7 Was afraid of my feet getting wet. 🙂
1 leather jacket 1
1 Windbreaker 1 Used for every shore excursion.



Other Items to take on an Alaskan Cruise

 

  • Laptop – YES.
  • Chargers – phone, Ipad, Fitbit, laptop & camera – YES.
  • Power Strip – YES . There will only be a couple of plugs in your stateroom. My husband had 2 phones in addition to all my electronics. The couple we travelled with both used a C-Pap Machine, so definitely needed a plug on each side of their bed. The Power Strip is a must.
  • Downy Wrinkle Release – Depending on what clothes you take, this may come in handy. We didn’t need it.
  • Garbage Bags – YES. We used for dirty clothes.
  • Evening Purse – YES.  I used mine on “evening chic” night.
  • Backpack – YES. Great for shore excursions when you are carrying a camera, bottled water, snacks and will be bringing back souvenirs. This is a lightweight one with two bottled water holders on the outside. Very convenient, especially if you are hiking or doing other outdoor activities.
  • Insect Repellant – Was recommended, but we didn’t need it.
  • Headphones or earbuds  – Yes. One of the reasons my husband and I have managed to stay married for 33 years is that we have our own TV’s at home. We had to actually SHARE one for 7 days and since there is not one show in the entire universe that we both like, he could watch what he wanted on the room TV and I watched Netflix on my iPAD with the headphones.



Other things to remember:

  • We were blessed to have absolutely perfect weather and no rain. Not having any rain during a cruise to Alaska is unusual. It was recommended that we take two pairs of walking shoes in case it rained and 1 pair got wet.
  • If you are taking shore excursions where you will be riding outside on a boat or hiking on a glacier, you will need to take some very warm clothes.
  • You will not sweat, so unless you spill something on your clothes or just can’t bring yourself to wear an outfit twice, you CAN wear your clothes twice.
  • You are only wearing your evening clothes for a couple of hours every night, so you can wear them again. Believe me – no one will notice.
  • I wore the same “evening chic” outfit both nights.

If you’ve been on an Alaskan cruise, is there anything I missed?

If you’ll be taking an Alaskan cruise, are you wondering about something you are planning to take?

Leave your responses in the comments! I respond to all comments.

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Alaskan Cruise Packing List based on what I took and what I actually wore | #cruise #alaskancruise #alaskancruisepackinglist | What to Pack for an Alaskan Cruise
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Packing For An Alaskan Cruise was last modified: November 1st, 2021 by Cathy Lawdanski
July 12, 2016 129 comments
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About Me

About Me

Cathy Lawdanski

My name is Cathy. I am an over 50 wife, mother and grandmother who is embracing new challenges and adventures that come from being on "this side" of 50. Join me on the journey!

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