Family

Aging Parents, Grandchildren, Adult Children, In-laws, Marriage, Family Relationships

12 Tips for a Super-Fun Family Beach Vacation

We just got back from our annual family beach vacation in Galveston, Texas. We always rent a home through VRBO and have a great time just being together. Over the years, our family has grown and changed with the addition of grandchildren. And every time we take a trip together, I learn something new!

12 Tips for a Super-Fun Family Beach Vacation

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you. I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

Choosing a House

Plan early to ensure you get a house that meets your needs in the location you want to be in. We reserved our house in January for an August vacation. We have always found stellar rentals on VRBO. But you have to do your research and read the fine print!

Think about the location you want:

Is it important to have an unobstructed view of the beach?
How far do you want to be from the beach?
Do you want to be able to drive your car on the beach? Make sure you are in a location that allows cars on the beach.
Will you be walking to the beach? Think about who is in your party and how far they can walk. Last year we rented a lovely home in a beach community that was advertised as “1/2 a block” from the beach. In truth, it was about 3 blocks from the bridge that crossed over to the beach. Not a bad walk for the adults in our party, but we had a 2-year-old with us. And since we thought it was a short walk, we did not bring a stroller or wagon for her. So getting to the beach was not convenient.
Is the home advertised as “across the street from the beach”? What street? A 2-lane road that is not busy OR a busy 5-lane highway that is very hard to cross safely on foot?

Read the fine print

2. Read the reviews. Make sure they are current – within the last year. If someone left a negative review and the owner has not responded with how that problem was fixed – beware.

3. Read what is included with the rental so that you can make your packing list. Are these items included?

Fully stocked kitchen with cooking and dining utensils
Beach towels
Bath towels
Bed linens
Grill
Cable TV & WiFi

It is not essential that the house is stocked with these items. But you do need to know what is included so that you know what you need to bring with you. Also, if TV and WiFi access is important, be sure and check to see if that is provided.

Plan Your Meals

We tend to go to the beach and eat all of our meals at the house. If this is what you will be doing:

4. Plan your meals ahead of time and buy your groceries before your come. Don’t forget things like PAM, foil, seasonings – things that you have at home and take for granted.

5. Keep your meals simple. We cooked our meat on the grill each evening – bratwurst, hot dogs, fajitas, steak & chicken. I also made this delicious broccoli salad that keeps well for a few days in the refrigerator.

6. Is there a grocery store close by? Or do you have to drive for a while to get groceries? At our location, the closest store was 7 miles from the house. It had the few things we forgot, but at jacked up prices! The closest large grocery store was 30 miles away, so we sucked it up and paid the higher prices.

7. If you want to eat out, what restaurants are close by? Do they meet the dietary needs of your family?

Things you might need if you are traveling with kids.

We had 3 kids with us – 6 months, 3 and 9. Quite a range.

8. You might need:

Portacrib
High chair
Baby gate if it is a 2 story house
Beach toys
Wagon to carry stuff to the beach. I bought this one that folds up and it was the best purchase I made for this whole trip! It held our towels, life jackets, boogie board, drinks – anything we wanted to take down to the beach.

Stuff for family fun:

9. This rolling cooler is great for hauling drinks and perishable snacks to the beach. And because it is tall, we carried our wine and other adult libations in it!

10. A big puzzle to work on all week. The adults in our family and our 9-year-old grandson enjoyed this – especially on the few afternoons when we had rain.

11. Games. Card and board games are always good. This year’s games were Speak Out and Hedbanz. Speak Out says it is for kids 16 and up, but it was great to play as a family with our 9-year-old. Batteries were needed for Hedbanz, so we didn’t get to play that one. So…don’t forget the batteries if your game needs them!

12. Goody bags – I always make little goody bags for everyone at the start of our vacation. Just for fun. Most of these items were purchased at the Dollar Store. Here’s what they got this year:

6-month-old grandson – reusable swim diaper and a nautical themed sleeper.
3-year-old granddaughter – water shoes, sunglasses, swim goggles & beach toys.
9-year-old grandson – boogie board, beach towel, & a woven straw beach mat
Adult daughters – flip flops & nail polish
Son-in-law – a bottle of bourbon

A little bit of thought on what you need. A little bit of research about where you’re going. And a whole lot of love and gratitude for the time spent together. That’s all it takes for a super fun family vacation.

You might also like: 5 Tips for An Awesome Multi-generational Family Vacation

A Beach Vacation in Galveston, Texas.

There are many, many options for accommodations, recreation, and dining in Galveston. We stay on the West End of the Island at Pointe West. Along with your rental, you can have access to their pool, lazy river and club for a small fee. The beach is private and kept very clean. There are no cars allowed on the beach in this location, so it’s very safe.

Here are the 2 homes we have rented in Pointe West Estates

2017 – This home was on the front row, giving us an unobstructed view of the beach. It was 3 houses down from the bridge that you walk over to go to the beach. Having a location that was a short, safe walk to the beach was our top priority this year. This was the nicest, most well stocked with extras rental I have ever stayed in. We will definitely go back.

2016 – A lovely home with the same floor plan as our 2017 rental. It’s about a 3 block walk (although advertised as a ½ block walk) from the bridge that you walk over to go to the beach. Lovely, clean home that was perfect for our needs. But with a 3-year-old and a baby this year, we wanted something that was a shorter walk to the beach.

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August 15, 2017 10 comments

Family

13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School Whether You Live Near Or Far

Since back to school season is upon us, I’ve been thinking about my grandson who will be entering 4th grade and the two other grandkids who won’t be far behind him! If you are a grandparent you know how much you love those little stinkers and that there is not anything in the world you wouldn’t do for them. Do you know that whether you live near the grandkids or far away that you can help your grandchild succeed at school? And that starts when they are babies – not just when they go to Kindergarten.

So, in honor of “back-to-school” season, I’ve asked my friend and long-time educator, Shelley Merchant to guest post on this topic. Shelley’s blog is Taming Frenzy and her mission is to help busy working women improve their lives while managing the multiple demands on their time!

13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School

My friends who are grandparents tell me it’s the most wonderful experience ever! A little bundle of pure love that you get to send home to Mommy and Daddy when you’re tired. My own mother used to describe being a grandparent as “joy multiplied, worry divided.”

As a former teacher and administrator, I’ve seen first hand how a grandparent’s influence, skills, perspective, and resources can have a great impact on a child’s education.

Here is my list of 13 Things To Help Your Grandchild Succeed At School

Foster a Love of Reading

A child who loves to read will become a good reader. And a good reader has the foundation to learn anything.

[bctt tweet=”Make story time with your grandchild a priority from the time they are born. @sasmerchant” username=”MySideof50″]

Make story time with your grandchild a priority from the time they’re born. From the time they’re old enough to sit on your lap, read books to them. Children learn a lot from this:

How to hold a book.
That the marks on the pages represent words.
How pages are turned.
That pictures add context to the written word.
That reading is an activity which can calm us, excite us, inspire us, teach us, and transport us to new and exciting worlds.

Research shows that children who are read to from an early age approach reading as a desirable activity and are more likely to become life-long readers. If you did nothing else, this is an incredible gift!

Give books as gifts and keep age appropriate books at your house.
Take them to the library or the bookstore. While there you can:

Point out that there are many different kinds of stories. Explain that different people enjoy different genres and that all have value.
Introduce them to a wide variety of magazines that are published and let them peruse some that are written for children their age.

Play Games and Put Together Puzzles Together

Play Cards and Board Games – Games like Old Maid, Go Fish and Checkers help your grandchild master and refine skills while they are having fun. Games help children learn to count, recognize shapes, colors, and symbols.
Put Together Puzzles – Puzzles teach kids to look at the big picture while also focusing on minute details.

Playing games and putting together puzzles help children learn:

How to take turns.
How to work and play cooperatively with others.
How to pay attention.
How to focus effort and energy.

All of these are skills that a child needs to learn and that can have a major impact on their readiness for school and their ability to interact successfully with the school environment.

Be Present

How much you are able to be present is largely affected by how close you live to your grandchild, but as you are able:

Attend events at school – Open House, special programs and sporting events.
Have lunch at school with your grandchild.
Volunteer at their school.

Throughout their lives

Talk about the importance of education. Give specific examples of how you used something you learned in school. This helps children understand that even if they don’t think a subject or concept is important right now, it may be in the future.
Take your grandchild to an event at your alma mater or nearby college. Something like attending a football game is exciting and very likely to make the prospect of attending college appealing.
Continue to model reading! Talk to your grandchild about what type of books and/or magazines you like to read. Let them see you reading the newspaper, your Kindle, or articles on the computer.
Talk about your occupation. Why did you choose the career path you did? How did it fit with your natural skills and interests? If you were choosing today, would you make the same choices?
Contribute to their college fund! Money set aside will grow right along with the child. This sets the expectation that education beyond high school, be it college, trade or technical training is a good thing.

You’re a bigger influence than you realize

It’s easy to think that parents are the only ones who will shape a child’s attitudes when it comes to learning. But grandparents have more of an influence than you might think.

A listening ear or encouraging word when they are frustrated or discouraged can be just the thing your grandchild needs to keep trying.

8 Things All Kids Need To Hear About Learning

Whether you live near a grandchild or far away, your support and participation will have a lasting impact on your grandchild’s love of learning!

More from Shelley:

10 Quick Tips For A Great School Year

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August 1, 2017 20 comments

Family

Home Healthcare Supplies for Elderly Patients

Disclosure: This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ChooseTENA #CollectiveBias

Home Healthcare Supplies for Elderly Patients

In 2015, both of my parents, on separate occasions, were discharged from the hospital to home care. My mom went to her home with 24-hour nursing care and my dad went to an assisted living facility. In both cases, I was totally unprepared and did not have what they needed to be cared for in home setting. I had no idea what Home Healthcare Supplies were necessary. I just assumed that the hospital would send supplies or that the professional caregivers would have them. Or at the very least, that the hospital would give me a list of supplies to purchase when they gave me their discharge instructions. None of that happened.

Thankfully, being without supplies did not result in a life or death situation for either. But it WAS distressing not to have what was needed for them. Especially since both of them were coming out of the hospital facing a major loss of independence and incontinence issues for the first time. At the very least, having the supplies for incontinence like TENA® Overnight Pads on hand would have dialed down the stress level immensely.

Incontinence. Many people are faced with this – not just the elderly. It can be the result of illness or surgery. It can be a temporary or long-term issue. No matter what the circumstances, incontinence is most often met with shame, embarrassment, and fear of leakage and odor by those experiencing it. Those who care for people with incontinence feel their pain and want to be able to assist them discreetly and with dignity.

I was able to purchase TENA® Overnight Pads and the other home healthcare supplies that I needed at my local CVS. They are also available online at the TENA® Brand Shop at CVS.com. And although incontinence continued to be an issue, when my parents wore TENA® products, the worry of leakage and odor was gone and they could feel more confident.

So how do you know what home health care supplies you need to take care of your aging parents or another family member if they leave the hospital and come home or to an assisted living facility? Every situation is different. BUT you can be better prepared if you do the following:

As soon as discharge starts being discussed, ask the medical personnel what home supplies will be needed at home. Ask that you be given a written list prior to discharge.
If you aren’t able to get a list from them, look around at what supplies the medical personnel are using to take care of them and make your own list.
If your parent is being transferred to a nursing home or assisted living, find out IN ADVANCE what supplies and services they provide and get it in writing.
Make sure that if your parent is being transferred to a nursing home or assisted living facility that the hospital accurately communicates with them the condition and needs of the patient so that THEY are prepared for their care.
If you will have a home health aid in your home, be sure that the hospital communicates with them what the condition of the patient is and what their needs are. Ask the agency what supplies you need to have on hand.

While all patient needs are individual, here is a list of some basic supplies for a home healthcare supply kit:

Home Healthcare Supply Kit for Elderly Patients

For Incontinence:

TENA® products for incontinence including TENA® Overnight Pads.
Flushable wipes
Disposable waterproof pads
Vinyl, waterproof mattress cover

Other items:

Box of bandages in various sizes. For thin elder skin, make sure you get the kind that don’t tear the skin when removing them.
Antibiotic ointment
Lotion for dry skin
Hand Sanitizer
Nail clippers
Kleenex
Garbage can with a lid
Cup with lid and a straw

If you have a loved one being discharged from the hospital, don’t be caught off-guard. Have the home healthcare supplies you need on hand and ready for when your loved one arrives home. Being prepared can help ease the stress of a very stressful situation.

Have you cared for a loved one at home? What products would you add to this list?

May 19, 2017 25 comments

Family

Gifts for the Beer Lover

Gifts for the Beer Lover. I ran across a post like this last fall and it caught my eye because my son-in-law, Mike, is a beer lover. He loves trying different kinds of beers, visiting breweries, and enjoying flights of craft and local beers.

So for his birthday, I found the perfect gift for him. A membership into the Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club.

HE LOVED IT!

I bought him a 2 month subscription – one month for his birthday and one month for Christmas. Each month, he received 3- 12 oz. bottles of 4 different beers. The beer was delicious and all the selections were new to him – beers that were unique and that he couldn’t find locally. In addition to the great tasting beer, he enjoyed the newsletter that came with his shipment that had tasting notes, beer specifications, brewery profiles, suggested food pairings, and more. Perfect for anyone who appreciates the craft of beer making.

Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club has several packages to choose from:

The U. S. Microbrewed Beer Club
The U. S. International and Variety Beer Club
The Hop- Heads Beer Club (This is the one I purchased for Mike – he’s an IPA lover)
The International Beer Club
The Rare Beer Club

The Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club is totally customizable. You aren’t locked into a long subscription. You can order the number of shipments you want (minimum 2) or you can opt for an open-ended membership.

Need a gift for someone who’s not a beer lover? Monthly Clubs, also has monthly subscriptions for wine, cheese, chocolate, and cigars! Something for everybody!

Other Gifts for The Beer Lover (Chosen by Mike)

NCAA Texas Longhorns Bottle Opener Key Ring – Mike is a Texas Longhorn – but if you’re not, there are selections for lots of different schools.

The perfect beer glass – Samuel Adams Sensory Perfect Pint | Set of 4

Do you have a beer lover in your family? Which of these items do you think they’d like?

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10 Absolute Best Gifts for New Homeowners

Gifts for Elderly Fathers

7 Chic Ways to Turn Your Summer Clothes Into Fall Outfits

May 15, 2017 21 comments

Do you ever travel with several generations of family? It can be a wonderful, fun, bonding experience. Follow this 5 tips to ensure everyone has a great time making memories together.

Family Travel

5 Tips For An Awesome Multigenerational Family Vacation

Have you ever taken a multigenerational family vacation? I remember taking them with my parents and kids when our girls were growing up.

And we continue that tradition by planning and annual vacation with our now adult daughters and their families!

I LOVE these vacations together. It gives us time to spend with our daughter who doesn’t live in the same city as the rest of us. It’s a fun time for cousins to play together. And it’s just nice to go someplace away from home and share new experiences.

But traveling with several generations does require some special consideration and planning. Following these 5 tips will ensure that EVERYONE in your family has a great time AND wants to do it again!

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission. I so appreciate every click-through and purchase! Every little bit helps to keep My Side of 50 up and running!

5 Tips for the Best Multigenerational Family Vacation

Family Vacation Tip #1 – Plan your dates FAR in advance.

When you are planning with several generations, figuring out a time when EVERYONE is available to go can be tricky. For example, my husband has been working for 40 years. He has more vacation time than he ever takes and can take his days just about any time he wants to.

Our kids, on the other hand, are just starting their careers. They are the “low-man on the totem pole” in their companies and are limited in the NUMBER of days they can take off and WHEN they can take off. So planning early enough for “the kids” to make arrangements is essential.

And as our grandkids get older and get involved in school and extra-curricular activities, there will be even more things to work around when scheduling.

Family Vacation Tip #2 – Have a “budget” conversation WELL BEFORE the trip.

Who is paying for what? For example, we rent a beach house every year and my husband and I foot the bill for that expense. However, in a few years, we will be on a fixed income and may not be able to do that.

What is each family’s travel budget? This will determine how far you can go away from home and what kind of accommodations you choose.

If you will be dividing up expenses, appoint one person to be in charge of this.

Family Vacation Tip #3 – Pick a place to stay that has SPACE.

The place you choose doesn’t have to be HUGE or especially glamorous. But it should allow for:

A place where everyone can get a good night’s sleep. Nothing is worse than a bunch of cranky kids, or worse yet, cranky adults because there isn’t a comfortable, quiet place to sleep at night. Don’t scrimp on this by piling 8 people into a hotel room!

A place where kids can play and be kids. A playground, pool or just open space for them to run around. A 5-star golf resort probably won’t allow many places for kids to be kids.

A place for some downtime for each family. You will have lots of togetherness on your trip. You will look forward to that time together. But there needs to be some time every day for each family to have a little time to themselves. Believe me, you’ll enjoy your extended family time more if you allow for this!

Family Vacation Tip #4 – Plenty of OPTIONS for activities

When you have several generations together, it is important to allow for different ages, energy levels, and interests. You may have 1 or 2 things that EVERYONE will want to do together. Otherwise, have your other activities be optional so that each family can choose what is best for them on a particular day.

Family Vacation Tip #5 – Divide up the work

Make no mistake – just because this is a vacation doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot of work involved. Making the travel plans, getting places on time, keeping up with kids, meals, toys, suitcases, nap times, snacks….it’s a LOT of work.

So try to anticipate the things that will need to be done and divide up these responsibilities ahead of time.

Some of these tasks might include:

Meals – if you are at a place where you are cooking your own meals, how will that chore be divided up?
If you are dining out, appoint someone to research restaurant options.
Do the adults want a night out? Who will watch the kids? (Don’t always ASSUME grandma & grandpa want to do this).
Who will drive and keep gas in the car?
Someone to be in charge of the schedule and figuring out what time you need to leave to get places on time.

We have so many great memories of our multigenerational family vacations together. In fact, our 8-year-old grandson spends time on each of our vacations planning the next one! With a little forethought, planning, and communication, you can have a wonderful time making great memories together!

This post first appeared on Sweet Tea and Saving Grace.

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Check out these travel deals for your next vacation:

LaQuinta – Book Early and Save up to 25%

Hilton – Get $50 Daily Credit for Every Night of Your Stay, at Thousands of Hilton Hotels Worldwide with Code TVS!

You might also like:

12 Tips for a Super Fun Family Beach Vacation

5 Tips for Traveling With Friends

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April 11, 2017 26 comments

Family

19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies

How do you help when someone dies? We’ve all faced it or we will at some point. I never lost anyone close to me until I lost both of my parents in 2015. Talk about opening up a “big ol’ can of whoop-ass” on the emotions.

When you know someone who has had a death in the family, you feel such empathy for their loss. You want to do something. Some people are good at jumping in and figuring out something to do.

Others of us want to “do something” but we become paralyzed because we don’t know what to do. I confess that before I lost my parents, that was me a lot of the time. But what I came to realize is that any gesture, no matter how small, ministered to my heart in such a profound way. A kind word, a card, text, phone call or just showing up gave me comfort. So here are 19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies.

19 Practical Ways to Help When Someone Dies

People will be coming. Either out of town guests for the funeral or friends who just stop by. Here are some things that your friends will need:

Paper goods – plates, napkins, cutlery, styrofoam coffee cups, plastic drinking cups, toilet paper, napkins, paper towels, garbage bags.
Canned soft drinks, bottled water, coffee.
Meals – Lots of times neighbors and friends show up pretty soon after a person dies with a cake or casserole and that it good. But if you can coordinate meals through a service like Caring Meals, you can communicate with those who want to help the family’s special dietary needs, preferences and drop-off arrangements. Taking care of all of these details is so appreciated.

Transportation:

Drive your friend to the funeral home when she has to make funeral arrangements.
Pick up out of town guests at the airport.
Drive out of town guests or elderly family members to and from the funeral.
Take kids to and from school.

Funeral arrangements – We planned what I consider your basic, standard funeral for my parents. Nice, but nothing that I would consider elaborate. Yet, there was still a lot to do at a time when I didn’t feel like doing anything. Here are some areas where you may be able to help:

Video presentation – At many funerals, there is some kind of video presentation showing pictures of the deceased. This is a lovely way to honor them and share beautiful memories with all who attend. But getting all those pictures together in one spot, scanning those that need to be scanned and sending them to the funeral home takes a long time. Ask if you can help with that.
Help them locate and download the music they want for the presentation.
Take things that will be needed to the funeral home for them. Clothes for the deceased. Any memorabilia that they will display. We had a big portrait of each of my parents. And for my Dad, we had lots of stuff to display from his time in the military and his years of service as a policeman.
Help them get the word out about the funeral arrangements to those who need to know.

The Funeral

If an honorarium will be paid to the minister or musicians, get that from your friend and see that it is given to the appropriate person.
After the funeral, gather the pictures and memorabilia, flag, guest book – anything that was brought to the funeral home that needs to be returned and deliver it to the family.
Gather any flowers or plants the family wants to keep and deliver those to them. You may need to get several friends to help you with that.

After The Funeral

If the deceased has been living in assisted living or nursing home, the family only has a certain amount of time to collect their belongings. Get boxes and offer to go and help pack things up.
If it is a situation where there is a deep financial need, set up a fundraising campaign on a site like Go Fund Me.
Call on a regular basis, especially on those first holidays and anniversaries.
Send a card.
Send a handwritten note with a memory of the person’s loved one. If it’s someone you have a picture of, send that too. When we lose someone, we still want to talk about them and know that others remember them too.
Send a Condolence Gift Package like these from A Healing Spirit.

The important thing in helping someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one is to “anticipate, don’t ask”, according to grief counselor, Megan Devine (refugeingrief.com).

Do not say “Call me if you need anything,” because your friend will not call. Not because they do not need, but because identifying a need, figuring out who might fill that need, and then making a phone call to ask is light years beyond their energy levels, capacity or interest. Instead, make concrete offers: “I will be there at 4 p.m. on Thursday to bring your recycling to the curb,” or “I will stop by each morning on my way to work and give the dog a quick walk.” Be reliable. – How to Help a Grieving Friend – 11 Things to Do When You’re Not Sure What to Do by Megan Devine

I remember the most thoughtful thing my good friends did for me after my dad died. They gave me a gift card for a spa day. You see, my mom had a stroke in January and died in February. My dad broke his hip in July and died in September. Most days during those 9 months were spent in hospitals, rehabs and assisted living with them. I don’t regret a moment I spent with my parents, but when it was all over, I was tired. That gift card to the spa said to me “We see you. We see what you’ve been going through. Here is something to help you take care of you.”

Do you enjoy funerals? I know – weird question. My friend, Jodie, from Jodie’s Touch of Style, does! Read her post here about why she likes funerals. I’ll give you a hint. She’s a kind and engaged person.

And on Thursday, I’ll team up with Jodie again for a fashion post! We’ll be highlighting what to wear to a funeral. Not that you don’t know, but we’ll show you some outfits that we put together. And Jodie (in her 50’s), her stepmom (in her 60’s) and her mom (in her 70’s) show that you don’t ALWAYS have to wear black to be appropriate!

You might also like:

What to do When Your Friend Loses A Baby

What to Wear to a Funeral

How to Talk to Your Parents About Their Funeral Arrangements

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March 28, 2017 46 comments

Family

The New Mommy Care Kit – 25 Essential Items

One of the best parts of being a midlife woman on this side of 50 is the arrival of grandchildren! I spent last week with my younger daughter and her new baby. There’s nothing better than the smell of a newborn baby! This is grandbaby #3 for us. After the birth of each baby in our family, I put together a special gift bag for the new mommies. I call this my New Mommy Care Kit and it is filled with items to aid in their recovery and pamper them during the first few weeks post-partum.

The New Mommy Care Kit – 25 Essential Items

This post contains affiliate links for your convenience. If you make a purchase through one of these links, I will make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Big Panties to hold the phone book sized pads you have to wear after having a baby. Since these panties will likely get stained, purchase some inexpensive boy shorts

Or for those who have had a C-section and don’t want anything rubbing against their incision some good, old-fashioned cotton briefs.

New moms, especially those who are nursing, tend to get dehydrated. To encourage her to drink plenty of water, get this Healthy Human Water Bottle that keeps her water cold up to 24 hours OR hot drinks warm up to 12 hours.
For dry skin, this Burt’s Bees Tips & Toes Kit with a variety of hand creams, foot creams and lip balm is great!
Moisturizing Body Wash

Post Partum Care for a Sore Bottom

Herbal Perineal Spray
Organic Perineal Balm
Organic Herbal Sitz Bath
Items for Padsicles (frozen pads with witch hazel, aloe vera and lavender oil – very soothing). Here’s what you need and how to make them.

Include these in your New Mommy Care Kit for the Nursing Mom

Organic Nipple Butter
Bamboobies Washable Nursing Pads
Lanisoh Disposable Nursing Pads
Organic Milkmaid Tea to help with milk production

Breastfeeding moms need to consume lots of calories but don’t always have time to stop and eat. Having snacks on hand that support breastfeeding like the Boobie Bar can be very helpful.

- Nursing gowns

Comfortable Nursing Sleep Bras

Nursing Camis – These are great to wear around the house all day. Then when guests arrive, you just throw a blouse over them.

Extras for Your New Mom Pamper Kit

- A month’s subscription to a Grocery Delivery Service such as Peapod, Safeway, Vons or Shipt (My daughters and I live in Texas and we LOVE Shipt!)
- Extra set of sheets and an extra mattress pad. Many people don’t keep extra sheets and mattress pads on hand. They just wash them and re-make the bed. Those first few days post-partum, mom will likely need to change the bed several times and won’t want to have to wait for the bedding to get washed and dried before getting back in bed. Having extras on hand is just the little luxury that makes all the difference when you are sore and sleep-deprived!

Personalized Thank You Cards from Casserolis Note Cards

Whether you go all out and fill up a bag with ALL of these items or choose just a few, the new mommy in your family will love each and every one! Pamper her today!

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February 21, 2017 28 comments

10 Tips For "Sharing" Your Adult Children On The Holidays by Guest Blogger Joan Stamen, the author behind Gramcrackercrumbs.com

Family

10 Tips To Ease The Stress Of “Sharing” Your Adult Children On Holidays

Here we are at the end of October with Thanksgiving just 4 weeks away! No doubt, if you are a midlife woman and have and have adult children, the conversations of who will be where and at what time have begun. If your kids are married or have significant others, you will likely be in the position to have to consider their “in-laws” plans when you make your schedule. And in the case of blended families, we have a whole slew of parents, grandparents, and steps. Why can’t everybody just go home to their family of origin and meet up after the holidays?

Today, Joan Stommen, the mom and grandma behind the blog, GramcrackerCrumbs offers her perspective based on 20 years experience with all of this holiday “sharing”. Joan has 2 kids and 5 grandchildren who call her, what else? Gramcraker!

Adult Children and The Holidays – 10 Tips to Ease the Stress of Sharing

Many of you have probably started shopping for gifts, made travel reservations or are busy unpacking decorations for the coming winter holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hannukah will soon be here. Have you thought about the actual day of celebration? If your adult children are married or living with significant others; whether you have grandchildren near or far….there are bound to be some question marks about where, when and with whom. After years of familiar routine, change rears its head when our kids grow up. For the past twenty years, my holidays were unpredictable and seemingly different every year. As needs arose and life interfered, I found some solutions that worked for us. Hopefully, you’ll find some soothing memory making ideas here.

Remind yourself that it comes under the heading of letting go.

We send them off to college, help with wedding preparations and applaud their home and job choices. Welcoming another family member is how the empty nest begins to fill again. Our son was the first to marry and we loved the bonus of another daughter; but they married and settled in Michigan; several states away from us in Georgia. I think there was only time for a sigh of relief before it hit me…things would be different now.

Respect that the newlyweds may want to host a big holiday themselves.

They married in late September and had an autumn honeymoon. The next thing we knew, they wanted to host Thanksgiving. My husband and daughter and I drove north, caught up in the excitement of the newlyweds hosting their first holiday. Having Thanksgiving dinner prepared by someone else and spending time with the other parents was a treat. But being invited back for Christmas was much harder. I didn’t like it and may have whined to my son, “please come to us, we always cut down a tree, decorate it, go to Christmas Eve Mass, get up at the crack of dawn tooogetherrrrr.” Her parents were not able to go, so my son’s pleading that their first Christmas was a really big deal touched my heart. Imagine my delight discovering he followed our same traditions; leaving milk and cookies for Santa, opening a gift on Christmas Eve, making us wait in the hallway Christmas morning until he turned on the lights and exclaimed, “SANTA WAS HERE!”

When it’s your turn to host a family gathering, invite the son or daughter-in-law’s parents.

After our daughter married and bought a home nearby, my husband and I mostly hosted holiday dinners. Our son-in-law’s parents lived out of state, so when they were in town, we included them as well. I never realized in those early years that the other parents would soon become lifelong friends.

Accept when you’re invited to their homes. Plans and places can change, but you’ll all be together and the kids will be all right.

Sharing a Thanksgiving with my daughter-in-law’s blended family; another with my son-in-law’s extended family….so many that a big hall was rented….were two of the best times we ever had. Your children will beam as they watch the connection of their families grow. Thirteen years ago on a lovely, snowy evening, the young couple invited their moms out for drinks after a potluck Thanksgiving dinner. As the four of us relaxed, his mom and I blurted out at the same time, “when are we getting a grandchild?” We’d held our tongues for three years so we felt entitled. I loved us being on the same page; this favorite friend I now call my “grandmother-in-law.”

Discuss your preferences as soon as possible before the holiday.

Whether it’s religious purposes, enough space to hold everyone, who really wants to cook, travel or medical considerations; early planning will make it easier for everyone. Letters and conversations throughout the year will make the ’planners’ more comfortable in expressing their wishes. Getting to know the other family members not only makes holiday preparations easier but builds a camaraderie that can only strengthen your kids’ bond in all aspects of marriage.

If you find you’ll be on your own some Thanksgiving, Christmas or other event…take off!

Don’t stay home and fume or fret; take a road trip, make reservations for holiday dinner at a nice restaurant, head to the Bahamas. There will be years when all your kids go to their in-laws or have plans with pals. My husband and I traveled to San Antonio, Texas one Christmas Day, ate dinner at a Howard Johnson and toured the Alamo. The rest of the week we took day trips and enjoyed the Riverwalk events at night. It tickled us knowing we could have a blast and never missed Christmas with the kids at all!

When the grandkids finally come along!

Always respect the new mother’s wishes first….especially the first year. Use common sense and again, discuss it well ahead of time. My son and daughter-in-law moved south to be near us when their first daughter was born. I felt great peace and contentment to do the holidays “my way” again; envisioning my daughter and the new little family all under our roof. But the new mom wanted Thanksgiving; hosting us and her parents from out of town. We hadn’t seen them since the wedding four years earlier and we had lots to catch up on about this new baby girl. Since we got to see our first grandchild frequently, we didn’t mind her other grandparents taking over the feeding, holding and rocking for a few days.

Stagger the holidays by years if all parties are acceptable.

As time goes by, let your kids decide what works for them. They not only have in-laws to celebrate with but will want to host themselves some years. Some families only want Thanksgiving or Easter; others like to switch off. Open communication and flexibility is the key. Believe me….the day will come when going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house becomes the best for everyone!

If everyone lives close enough, stagger the times for opening holiday presents.

The whole magical scene will still be there later that afternoon, the next morning or even the next week. Eighteen years ago when our first grandchild came along, I insisted Santa would come down our chimney too…and fill stockings for everyone! Needless to say, he came down every year after and I had four more stockings embroidered with each grandchild’s name. I don’t recommend this; not only can it be costly, but potentially awkward too. It was a bit sticky for my daughter initially. She and her husband wanted their own Christmas morning ritual with their children and liked having Christmas Dinner at the other grandparents’ house. We agreed to wait until the following morning to open the gifts around our tree. Seeing the delight on little faces as they ran in the door made it all worthwhile. One year we spent Christmas morning with our California family; flew home that evening and had Christmas again the next morning with our Georgia family. (You know Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Leprechauns come even if you’re not home, right?)

If you’re a long distant grandparent unable to join the celebration, you can still be present.

Just make sure you follow the parent’s suggestions first, then your grandchild’s request and lastly your own surprises. If you’ll miss a Thanksgiving or Easter Dinner, send things that can be included such as a candle or special prayer, inexpensive decorations, stickers or a new shirt or dress for the occasion. When I lived on the other side of the country from my older grandkids; I’d wrap and send gifts to go under their tree; then after Christmas, I’d send anything Santa had left under mine, including the filled stockings! Needless to say, we spoiled the kids and kept UPS and FedEx in business.

Now that I’m a widow and the grandkids are getting older, it amuses me that my son and daughter now want to ‘share’ mom! The first Christmas on my own, I went to my son’s, the next year to my daughter’s. Now he’s moved nearby and would like me to join in their holiday festivities. But I don’t see my daughter’s family as often, so it’d be worth a plane ticket to their house or….I may decide to spend my holidays doing something completely different. After years of appreciating their parents’ flexibility, I’m confident they’ll both be fine with whatever I decide.

What are your tips for peacefully “sharing” your kids and grandkids during the holidays?

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October 26, 2016 45 comments

Author Doreen Mcgettigan shares how her holiday plans and perspective have grown and changed since her adult children began to get married and have children

Family

Adult Children And The Holidays – New Perspectives on Sharing, Part 1

Adult Children And the Holidays

The holidays are approaching and those of us who fall into the “midlife women” category likely have adult children who are married or have significant others. Some of us even have grandchildren. All that means is there are now other families within our sphere with whom we have to share our kids and grandkids!

I don’t know about you, but the first year I was faced with this, it was tough. And it had nothing to do with the in-laws or the actual logistics where my kids were on a given holiday. I think it was just one of those “letting go of” moments that I wasn’t emotionally prepared for.

Today’s post is from author and blogger Doreen Mcgettigan. Doreen and her husband have 5 grown children and 13 grandchildren. Here is how their holidays and Doreen’s perspective have grown and changed since those first holidays after her daughters married.

Stress-Free Holidays – Sharing Your Adult Children

I admit to being 100% selfish when it came to the holidays after my daughters got married. Of course, they would be home for each and every holiday with me and their siblings. We lived close by and saw each other nearly every day, but the holidays were different. The attendance of my adult children was a must.

We decided Christmas Eve would be spent at our house and Christmas Day they were free to visit with the in-laws. For Thanksgiving, they would have dinner with us and dessert with the in-laws.

Once my two oldest daughters had babies things started to change. My oldest daughter decided she wanted to have the holidays at her house so she could invite us and her in-laws. She’s the great compromiser. The other daughter’s in-laws were invited too.

We all chipped in by providing side dishes and drinks. I was upset at first but quickly realized how stress-free it was to get dressed, go to her house, enjoy the meal, the babies and then go home to my nice clean kitchen.

It worked out so well that she became the hostess for every single holiday for years.

Then my son got married and it all changed. My daughter-in-law wanted to be with her mother and her siblings for every holiday. Her family had their big celebration on Christmas Eve too. I was in trouble. Not only were holidays different, it was different with their babies too. My daughters called me several times a day while they were expecting. My daughter-in-law called her mother. I was so hurt at first but realized it’s different with daughters. I had to accept her closeness with her mother and realized how my daughter’s mothers-in-laws must have felt over the years. I felt so guilty. I conceded that we would take turns and simply make sure no one in our family was alone for any holiday.

Just to complicate our family more, I remarried and became step-mother to a young man. He often wanted to spend holidays with his mother and his step-sister. I told my husband we would just have him over as often as he could visit and it didn’t make any difference if it was a holiday or not.

What I won’t give up is the one- week family beach vacation we take every year. All the kids, their spouses and the grandchildren are invited. I encourage them all to at least come for a few days if they can’t spend the entire week. The cousins love the opportunity to play together all week. I live for and plan that week all year.

My stepson is still single. I’m sure he will eventually marry and have children and that will be another learning experience for me. We will be sharing him with his mother and his in-laws. I am so grateful his mother and I get along. That makes a big difference. I am again resigned to be happy with whatever time we do spend together and consciously choose to make that time as comfortable as possible so they want to spend time with us.

For me, it’s become all about the memories. With 13 grandchildren it is so important to make the time during the year to make each one of them feel special like they are our favorite. We enjoy coming up with just the right activity for each child. There are opportunities to create those beautiful memories anytime. We simply have to want to and then we must do the work needed to make it possible. We also have to make the time.

This year I want to work on spending more one on one time with my grown children. It’s been all about the grandchildren for so long now, I’m missing the closeness with my kids.

I am not willing to cause strife over attendance at a holiday meal. I am more interested in being part of a family that can get together anytime and make it a memorable holiday.

How do you work out the “sharing” of your kids and grandkids over the holidays? Share in the comments below.

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October 19, 2016 43 comments

Family

Legacy

There is nothing like a funeral to get your attention. Actually, it was a Memorial Service for Tish, my friend Cyndi’s mother that I attended on Saturday. Cyndi is a good friend and was a neighbor for many years. Our daughters were childhood friends. I did not know Tish well, but always enjoyed being around her at family gatherings or school events for the kids. Her death was sudden and unexpected.

[bctt tweet=”There is nothing like a funeral to get your attention.” username=”MySideof50″]

One word I think of when I think of Tish is that she was ENGAGED. Her children did not move far from the community from which they were raised, so Tish took every opportunity to be engaged in the lives of her children and grandchildren. She talked to her daughters on the phone every day.

And Tish was LIVELY. Not the stand out demanding to be the center of attention kind of lively. But a high energy, attentive woman who always had a twinkle in her eye. At the service, it was said that she did not want her funeral to be LONG or BORING. My sentiments exactly! Family – do you hear me?

Tish’s memorial started with some congregational singing of some of the old timeless hymns that she loved. Boy, how that moved me. The hymns of my childhood make me feel comforted, loved and reminded of the Truth.

[bctt tweet=”The old hymns make me feel comfort, loved and reminded of the Truth.” username=”MySideof50″]

The past 30 years or so, our churches have been filled with contemporary worship songs, which I love, but when times get tough, I want a hymn. Since I don’t think my kids will know many hymns, I am asking right now that all of my peers come and sing hymns at my funeral. Now I won’t be there to hear them, but doggone it, I want you to sing hymns anyway since I’m sure those are the only songs that Jesus really likes.

Back to Tish – Those who spoke of Tish, spoke of her faith in Jesus Christ. And that no matter how fabulous we all thought she was – a great mom, a great church member and a great friend, she knew she was a sinner just like all of us and needed a Savior. Her Savior was Jesus and I know that she wanted all of us to know Jesus as our Savior too.

Her husband of 53 years, Chico, got up and spoke at the end. Husband of 53 years – that in and of itself speaks volumes. I don’t know a thing about their marriage, but in 53 years there were likely disagreements, heartache and the maybe the temptation to give up. But they held on to their faith and each other. They were steadfast – a word we don’t hear often in our culture of disposable everything – relationships included.

Chico said that the word “suddenly” took on a whole new meaning for him that week when the love of his life SUDDENLY died. He told us to make peace now with anyone with whom we had a conflict. That we are not guaranteed another breath and whatever it is that comes between us and another is just not worth holding on to. Not worth a lifetime of regret at not getting it settled, resolved and forgiven. We KNOW we aren’t promised tomorrow. But why do we always act like we have forever?

[bctt tweet=”We KNOW we aren’t promised tomorrow. But why do we always act like we have forever?” username=”MySideof50″]

At the end of the service as Tish’s family walked out – heartbroken husband, daughters, sons-in-laws, grown grandchildren and their spouses. When I saw them, all I could think of was LEGACY. Tish left a lasting legacy. She prayed for her children and grandchildren every day. She called them out with an appropriate word or just that look that only a grandmother can get away with. She supported and encouraged them. She led by example. And today, the hardest of days, they were together – remembering Tish. Loving and supporting each other.

I’ve thought about Tish and Chico all weekend and the lessons I was reminded of at that service.

The things that bother me most of the time aren’t worth the time and energy it takes to get upset about them.
The things that are important are important enough to talk about and to resolve.
There are expressions of love and affirmation that need to be said and to not wait to say them.
To always remember that my children and grandchildren are watching me.
To be more intentional in my prayers for them.
To lead by example. Just like Tish did.
To not be careless with my words because they carry weight and will be remembered.

Thank you Tish. You were an inspiration and example to more people than you probably ever knew.

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