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Midlife Women

Issues, interests and inspiration for midlife women. Aging parents, adult children, grandchildren, travel, midlife reinvention, health & fitness, recipes, entertainment.

Midlife Women

Bridging the Gap | Introducing Sami Davis | The Unexpected Type

 

Today is the launch of Bridging the Gap which is bringing together 200 influencers from multiple demographics in an unprecedented campaign for social change.  The focus is uniting Millennial and Midlife Bloggers in something called Reciprocal Mentorship.

What exactly is Reciprocal Mentorship? It’s a new and empowered way of bringing the generations together by each sharing their unique gifts with the other. Why? Because we have so much to learn from each other!

My Bridging the Gap Partner is Sami Davis, the creative, beautiful and talented blogger behind The Unexpected Type.

Sami is a Southern California girl who has cultivated a creative lifestyle from a very young age. She grew up dabbling in paint and other creative media and knew her career would have to have a huge artistic impact.

After achieving a degree in Visual Communications at The Fashion Institute of Design and Marketing, she gained experience in marketing, graphic design, event management, product styling + fine arts all the while cultivating her experimental aesthetic. Sami’s approach is innovative and full of emotion, with direct influence from the shapes of the flora and fauna which surround all of us.

Sami loves to style food + props.  I would love for her to tutor me in this art.  This beautiful photograph is from her post Apps with Reese Specialty Foods.

She has a fashion hat collection with 12 hats.

My favorite thing about Sami is her mission to elevate what the world thinks “beautiful” means and encourage thinking outside all bounds. Bringing art + creative ambition to all aspects of life makes her heart the happiest!

Sami can be found at:

Instagram

Pinterest

Etsy

You might also like:

Bridging the Gap with Cathy of My Side of 50

Six Things I Would Tell My 20-Something Self

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Bridging the Gap | Introducing Sami Davis | The Unexpected Type was last modified: October 17th, 2017 by Cathy Lawdanski
October 17, 2017 15 comments
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Six Things I Would Say To My Twenty Something Self | Reflections of a Midlife Blogger | Advice
Midlife Women

Six Things I Would Say To My Twenty-Something Self

Recently I was asked to take part in an unprecedented campaign for women called “Bridging the Gap,” where 100 millennial and 100 midlife influencers are coming together with the purpose of to blurring the boundaries of age. As part of this, I was paired with a talented Millenial Blogger named Sami Davis from An Unexpected Type.

I’ll be writing more about Sami and the campaign in a special post, but let me tell you about how the topic of this week’s post came about.

Sami and I wanted to do more than feature each other on our respective blogs. We wanted to point our readers to content that would be of interest to them on each other’s blogs.

Sami told me that her readers were particularly interested in personal growth and learning from other women. So she came up with a set of questions for me.  Here are Six Things I Would Tell my 20-Something Self.

 

What 3 pieces of advice would you give to your 20-something self (and us growing girls now)?

Know Your Worth

Don’t know what your worth? I do. You were created by God, who is perfect, in His image. You have been given a beautiful heart, soul, and spirit. You have been given gifts and talents that are uniquely yours for the plan He has for you. You have a purpose for being here. The world would not be the same without you.

Your worth is not determined by your age, size, race, family of origin, education, health, intellectual ability, athletic ability, economic status or your past.

Own Your Worth

It’s one thing to know your worth. It’s quite another to own it. Owning your worth means requiring everyone around you to treat you like a person of great value deserving of respect on every level.

[bctt tweet=”It’s one thing to know your worth. It’s quite another to own it.” username=”MySideof50″]

  • Your feelings
  • Your time
  • Your body
  • Your possessions
  • Your emotions
  • Your health

It means getting paid what you’re worth. And unfortunately, you will probably always have to ask to be paid for what you are worth. Very few people will pay you what you’re worth on their own. You have to know your value as an employee and team member and ask for it.

  • It means requiring everyone you come in contact with to treat you with dignity and respect.
  • Not putting up with demeaning comments.
  • Calling out people who get in your personal space or touch you inappropriately. Which may mean reporting them to people in authority in the workplace or law enforcement.
  • Not allowing others to dehumanize you by calling you names (and no, – oh he was just mad that one time is not an excuse).
  • Not standing you up.
  • Or taking advantage of your financially.
  • Or using you for personal gain.

Always Have Your Own Money

If you marry, you will likely pool all your money into one household account. And that’s not a bad thing. But always have a little set aside for yourself. Money is power. And if someone else has total control over all your finances, you have given away some of your power.

Hopefully, you will marry someone who loves you, is totally trustworthy and would never abandon you. Or get sick. Or die. But we don’t live in a perfect world, so having a little money set aside for you and your children is very empowering. If the worst happens, you’ll be prepared. 

What was one of your biggest mistakes that you learned the most from?

I made lots of mistakes and I know I learned some hard lessons from them, but I just can’t seem to recall them all now.  (We call this the selective memory loss that comes with age). But what I do know is that it was usually one or more of these things that led to those mistakes:

Caring too much about pleasing people and wanting to be liked led to not standing up for myself and demanding to be valued – by a man, an employer or group of “friends”. Or engaging in behavior that wasn’t good for me or went against my own moral compass to go along with the crowd.

Drinking too much

Yes, it’s fun and relaxing to have a drink or two. But whenever I drank past a little buzz, I opened myself up to a world of trouble. Best case scenario – I had a headache the next day. Worst case – I embarrassed myself and my judgment was impaired. I look back at those instances now and see how I was putting myself at risk for so many things. Nothing good ever happened when I drank too much.

Not nurturing my relationship with God

This goes along with that whole moral compass thing. When I neglected my faith by not being around people who shared those same values, it was way too easy to stray from the timeless principles I had been taught. And those moments never ended well.

What is your favorite memory from your 20’s?

I just remember my senior year in college. I was ready to graduate. Get a job. Be a grownup. But I cherish that last year with my college girlfriends. There is something special about the friends you make in college. The friends from those pivotal years where you are growing up and learning who you are. We had some fun times (that we can only remember bits and pieces of when we get together these days) and they were the best.

What was the most difficult “adulting” moment you had in your 20’s? For me, it was putting my big girl pants on and figuring out taxes for a freelance job. (Numbers + me… not great.)

When my Dad gave me new tires for my car for my birthday. A very generous and much-needed gift, but certainly not the fun gifts I was accustomed to receiving!

I feel like I’ve lost and gained SO many friends at this stage in my life– what’s your biggest piece of advice on friendship?

There are some friends that are lifelong friends. And there are some friends that are in your life for a season. Don’t be too bothered about those that come and go at different times in your life. It’s not personal. It’s not weird. It’s just what happens as you move, change & grow.

And as Oprah says, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”.

Any advice on careers and trying to figure out where we belong in the workforce?

I graduated with a Bachelor of Music Education Degree. When I got my first job teaching elementary music, I liked it well enough. But I have a vivid memory of driving home from work one day thinking to myself, “I cannot do this for the rest of my life”. But the thing is, you don’t HAVE to stay in ANY job for the rest of your life.

I’ve done lots of different paid and non-paid jobs. Stay-at-home mom, volunteer, piano teacher, tutor, non-profit executive and now a blogger/influencer. The one common thread is that I have learned something at every job that prepared me for the next one.

[bctt tweet=”I learned something at every job that prepared me for the next one.” username=”MySideof50″]

 What about you – the My Side of 50 tribe? What would you add? I’d love to hear your answers to these questions in the comments below!

You might also like:

The Gift of Midlife Girlfriends

Bridging the Gap | Introducing Sami Davis | The Unexpected Type

Six Things I Would Say To My Twenty Something Self | Reflections of a Midlife Blogger | Advice

 

 

 

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Six Things I Would Say To My Twenty-Something Self was last modified: October 23rd, 2017 by Cathy Lawdanski
October 3, 2017 9 comments
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How to Pray for Victims of Hurricane Harvey | 13 Ways to Pray for Victims of Hurricane Harvey
Midlife Women

How to Pray for Victims of Hurricane Harvey

September 16, 2018 – Circulating this post again in the aftermath of Hurricane Florence. The location is different, but the prayers that are needed are the same.

I am a native Houstonian. I have seen every hurricane and storm since Hurricane Carla in 1961 when I was 3 years old. Hurricanes, flooding, tornados – these are nothing new to Texas. But there has never been anything on the scale of Hurricane Harvey. And it’s not just Texas – it’s Louisiana with this one as well.

My entire family escaped what so many are suffering.   Our homes were not flooded. We only lost power for a short time. Other than a little cabin fever we are ok.

The outpouring of love we have witnessed both from outside and inside our communities has warmed my heart. Over the past couple of years, we have seen so much hate and vitriol in our country.   Could God have used this in some way to change the conversation? I don’t know, but I am so encouraged about the positivity and love and graciousness and kindness in the midst of this tragedy.

I spent 25 years working in nonprofits in Houston, so my original idea was to write a post on which organizations to donate to and how to evaluate a charity before giving. I know a lot about that, but so do a lot of other people. You can read some of those guidelines here.

Instead, I decided to write a post on how to pray for the people who suffered loss as a result of Hurricane Harvey. Because that’s the first thing we should do. And after we’ve donated and volunteered and helped and listened and sympathized and encouraged that’s all we can do. And it’s the BEST thing we can do.

Here is my list of things to pray about today and through the months to come. Because it’s going to take more than a couple of weeks to get through this. Long after they stop talking about it 24 hours a day on the news.

 

  • Thank God for his mercy. He was there. He never left us and He is here now, working through people.
  • Thank God for His love that has been poured out through people across the world. What would we do if we were not loved and cared for?
  • Pray that God would provide places to live for people who need it.
  • Pray for government agencies to work efficiently and quickly to meet the many needs these communities have.
  • Pray that God would protect families who are rebuilding from unethical and incompetent contractors and tradesmen. After a disaster, these types swarm into devastated communities, do shoddy work, incomplete work and take off with the money.
  • Pray for our first responders who are exhausted. Many left their own flooded homes to help us.
  • Pray for those who are grieving the loss. Most put on a brave face and say things like “stuff can be replaced”. And that is true. But when it’s YOUR stuff, it’s hard.
  • Pray for kids. If your parents are stressed out and things are uncertain, it’s hard.
  • Pray for kids and teachers. Schools will open again and be full of teachers and kids who have suffered loss. How does one concentrate on learning or teaching in the midst of devastation? Schools have been flooded. Everything will be topsy turvy in our educational system for a while. Pray for God’s peace and order.
  • Pray for local businesses. There has been great loss in our area businesses. It will be hard to get up and running again. The ladies who clean my house weren’t able to get here this week. (That is only a tragedy if you’re me :). Seriously – I think about the people who only get paid when they work, paid by the job, don’t have vacation days and sick leave. If you are one of these people and you are out of work, you are in a world of hurt. I will be paying them for this week. If someone like this works for you and didn’t make it in this week, consider paying them anyway if you are able.
  • Pray for our government officials who have to make a lot of decisions – that God would guide each and every one and give them wisdom. That they would seek Him and He would show them what to do.
  • Thank God for all the churches, businesses and nonprofit organizations who have mobilized to help. Pray God’s blessing on them and that He would direct each on how to use their time, expertise and resources in the most efficient manner.
  • Pray against donor fatigue – and that also goes for volunteer fatigue. At some point, you just get tired of hearing about Hurricane Harvey. Then there will be another disaster somewhere to take our attention. All the while people here still need lots of help.

This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. If you purchase a product through my link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.

This was in my reading of Jesus Calling  this week. So appropriate. Isn’t the Lord so good that way? Just showing up with exactly what you need to hear.

 

“Trust me to supply what you need when you need it”

Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” 

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. – Lamentations 3:22-26

Yes – we serve a Lord of compassion and faithfulness. Always faithful.

How to Pray for Victims of Hurricane Harvey | 13 Ways to Pray for Victims of Hurricane Harvey

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How to Pray for Victims of Hurricane Harvey was last modified: September 16th, 2018 by Cathy Lawdanski
August 31, 2017 12 comments
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Favorite Podcasts That Motivate and Inspire
Midlife Women

6 Podcasts That Motivate And Inspire

I love PODCASTS that motivate and inspire me! I listen to them all the time. When I am getting ready in the morning. When I am doing chores. When I am driving. They stimulate me with their ideas and inspire me to be all God created me to be. They challenge me to think in new ways. They entertain me and sometimes give me a chuckle or two.

 

These days, I mostly listen to podcasts that feed me spiritually, inspire me as a midlife woman or teach me something about my passion – blogging! And this week, I actually was INTERVIEWED for my favorite podcast for midlife women – Midlife Schmidlife with host, Liz Applegate. In this episode, I talk about the loss of my parents last year, the start of this blog and the fun and adventure of trying new things when you are 50+. What an exciting time of life this is! You can listen here.

Favorite Podcasts That Motivate and Inspire

6 Podcasts That Motivate and Inspire

[bctt tweet=”My interview on #midlifeschmidlife on loss, being brave and learning new things after 50.” username=”mysideof50.com”]

Midlife Schmidlife from 6 Podcasts That Motivate and Inspire

On Midlife Schmidlife, Liz talks to women about the midlife transition and reinvention many go through at this time in their lives. It runs the gamut – exploring passions and pursuing a new career, telling yourself the truth and not being afraid are common themes. The women interviewed are real-life women like you and me and their stories are inspirational and hopeful.

One Verse Devotional

These 5-minute devotionals by Matt McCarrick focus on one Bible verse a day. There is always some great nugget to chew on and apply. Matt presents in a conversational way. I don’t fell like he is talking “to” me. Rather I feel like I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone who is presenting his understanding of the Bible in a way that is humble and engaging. If I don’t have time for anything else, I can listen to this one while I brush my teeth – which most of the time I do!

Daily Radio Program with Charles Stanley 

Dr. Charles Stanley has a warm and engaging way of teaching the Bible. He doesn’t always tell you what your want to hear, but he tells you the truth – just like your Dad would. In fact, when he wants to make a point, he often says “Now listen to me.”, which is what my own Dad used to say to me. Maybe that’s why I like him so much.

Daily Hope with Rick Warren

Rick Warren is the author of the bestseller, The Purpose Driven Life. These excerpts from his sermons at Saddleback Church in California feature Rick breaking down Biblical truths in a way that is easy to understand. Rick always offers a practical way to implement these truths, which I appreciate.

I Teach Blogging

Renee Groskreutz is a WordPress and Blogging Guru. I have learned about all aspects of blogging from her – the technical side, about WordPress, SEO, content, social media – literally everything. I listened to her podcast even before I started my blog. She teaches in a way that is easy to understand for the beginner. Yet a blogger with any amount of experience can learn much.

Create If Writing

Writer and Blogger, Kirsten Oliphint teaches from her many years of experience as first a writer and then a blogger. Topics such as building your list, finding your audience, and the creative process of writing are some of the topics that you’ll find on this podcast. Kirsten also shares about mistakes she has made in this blogging journey. One of my favorite episodes is the one where she shares $1300 worth of mistakes she made in 2015! She communicates with humor and honesty.

Do you listen to podcasts? What are your favorites? Tell me in the comments. I’m always looking for new ones.

 

Midlife Schmidlife from 6 Podcasts That Motivate and Inspire

 

6 Podcasts That Motivate And Inspire was last modified: October 2nd, 2017 by Cathy Lawdanski
July 31, 2016 55 comments
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Midlife Women

Be Brave & Be Open

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do that for some reason, you haven’t tried? Are you passionate about something but have not pursued it because you are afraid? As a midlife woman on this side of 50, I am working on being brave. Being open. Not automatically saying no to things. Daring to try things I want to try, no matter what others may think.

[bctt tweet=”Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t tried?” username=””]

Be Brave & Be Open

[bctt tweet=”On this side or 50, I am working on being brave and open.” username=””]

Easier said than done, but I’m moving in that direction.

Today, I am honored to guest post on Sue Loncaric’s blog, Sizzling Toward Sixty. Sue is an Aussie who believes that age is just a number and shouldn’t hold you back from reaching your full potential. I wholeheartedly agree.

You can read my guest post, Be Brave & Be Open here! While you are over at Sizzling Toward Sixty, check out Sue’s #couchpotatotofabfit community on Facebook. I’m a member and we encourage each other as we maintain our health in community. We’d love to have you join us!

 

Be Brave & Be Open was last modified: April 30th, 2017 by Cathy Lawdanski
June 16, 2016 7 comments
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The Gift of Midlife Girlfriends
Midlife Women

The Gift of Midlife Girlfriends

I’ve spent the last two weekends with some midlife girlfriends. The first group I had known for 40 years. They were my college sorority sisters and we were together for our bi-annual reunion.

The second group, I didn’t know at all, other than through social media and their blogs. They were the women who attended the Bloggers at Mid-Life Conference in Las Vegas.

The Gift of Midlife Girlfriends

The Gift of Midlife Girlfriends

These events reminded me of why I enjoy my girlfriends, both old and new on this side of 50.

  • I’m inspired by their stories. You don’t reach this side of 50 without experiencing some pain, hard knocks & rough times, be it the death of a loved one, divorce, financial problems or getting fired.

 

  • There is a certain transparency that comes at this stage of life. We are past the point of caring so much what others think and don’t mind sharing the joy and pain of our experiences.”
  • We have empathy.
  • We aren’t so competitive, so it’s a thrill to be able to encourage and root for each other to succeed.
  • We’re resilient. Many of us had survived the “worst thing that can happen” (at least the worst thing as we would have defined it in our 20’s) and come out the other side stronger and more determined. It has made us who we are.

 

  • We are less judgmental. Gone is the black and white thinking of our youth. We don’t say “I would never…” very much anymore.
  • But the things we DO know, we KNOW – to the core of our being.
  • We are diverse – single, married, divorced, widowed, mothers, grandmothers. We differ in our political & religious views, how we dress, whether or not we color our hair. The desire to “fit in” with the crowd often is dwarfed by the desire to just be ourselves.

Being with my women friends is one of the things that makes this side of 50 the best time of life!

What do you value in your relationships with YOUR girlfriends?

“We make a choice in how we approach aging.” – Walker Thornton

“Aging is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan

Southwestern University Tri Delta Pledge Class

Members of my Tri Delta Pledge Class in 1979. I’m on the top row on the right.

Southwestern University Tri Delta Reunion 2016

Tri Delta Reunion 2016. Photo by Laurie Heath Images. I’m sitting on the bottom row wearing red pants.

 

 

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The Gift of Midlife Girlfriends was last modified: September 17th, 2018 by Cathy Lawdanski
April 18, 2016 69 comments
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Midlife Women

Life Change Via Facebook? Joining The Peace Corps At Age 55

Let me introduce you to my friend, Karen Campbell. Karen and I met several years ago when we worked in the nonprofit arena in Houston. She is one of the bravest, most fun, open and adventurous people I know. Here’s the story of her mid-life change in direction, courtesy of Facebook.

Karen Campbell joins Peace Corps in Costa Rica

Guest post by Karen Campbell:

Though it causes me to cringe slightly when I confess it, Facebook played a role in getting me where I am today, which is in a bedroom of a friend that is covered by a small stipend I receive.

Karen lives in a room she rents from a friend in Costa Rica

Peace Corps volunteer, Karen Campbell, lives in this rented room in Costa Rica

I’m a Peace Corps Volunteer in Costa Rica. And as they say here, “Si Dios quiere” (if God wants), this is where I’ll be celebrating my 55th birthday in a few months.

[bctt tweet=”Facebook played a role in getting me where I am today.”]

The cringe comes from hearing so many people lament the time spent on social media. I understand their desire to see people’s eyes rather than the tops of their heads while seated across a dining table, but frankly, I’ve been able to connect people to great causes and stay connected to family and friends from hither and yon as a result of posted pictures, likes and shares.

 

But the big benefit came one night as I scrolled through my news feed before going to bed as part of my job as a communications consultant for nonprofits. I was actually in a great state of mind.

 

  • I finally believed that my turn toward Public Relations after almost two decades in the church world wasn’t a fluke and I really could do the job.
  • I enjoyed working with my clients.
  • I had friends and family who loved and supported me.
  • And I had a comfortable home in Houston that was always open to them.

 

However …

 

I couldn’t deny that there were days when I thought “I’m successful, so now what?”

[bctt tweet=”I couldn’t deny that there were days when I thought “I’m successful, so now what?””]

I knew there was something else and I was more than open to it, I just didn’t know where to look. And then the promoted Facebook post from the Peace Corps popped up.

 

I clicked … and before a year passed I was packing my bags for Costa Rica.

 

What drew me to the click?

As usual, changes come because of relationships.

[bctt tweet=”As usual, changes come because of relationships.”]

My friend Roger had been a Peace Corps volunteer 30 years prior and the experience shaped him into the man I love like a brother today. He often said that the older couple who had served with him was a major factor in his love of his two years of service. He kept up with them until they passed away.

 

Reading about the opportunities, I thought, “I could be that person for one of the volunteers I serve alongside.” I also thought that maybe a couple of years in a new place with a service organization might pave the way for me to discover a means of satisfying my love of travel and needing to have a paying gig that would see me through to retirement.

Greetings in Costa Rica with Peace Corps volunteer, Karen Campbell mysideof50.com

Peace Corps Costa Rica volunteer, Karen Campbell

 

So here I am … working in the Teaching English as a Foreign Language program in Costa Rica. In my first 10 months:

 

  • I’ve been a co-teacher in a small community in the hot and humid rainforest.
Students learning English in Costa Rica mysideof50.com

Karen co-taught in a small community in the rainforest of Costa Rica as a Peace Corp volunteer.

  • I helped put on the first National English Festival.
First National English Festival in Costa Rica mysideof50.com

Peace Corps volunteer, Karen Campbell, helped put on the first National English Festival in Costa Rica.

  • I wrote and helped produce a video promoting English.
Writing and producing a video promoting English

Peace Corps volunteer, Karen Campbell, wrote and helped produce a video promoting English.

  • I contributed to the new curriculum being developed as part of a nationwide reform effort.
  • And I’m now assisting the equivalent of the Department of Education and doing … wait for it … some strategy work to get Peace Corps Costa Rica’s social media off the ground (yes, including Facebook).

 

To get here I sold or gave away all my things save for my art which is in what I call foster care (must be on the caregiver’s wall or displayed until I return), started on a health plan to be able to walk the miles upon miles I walk since we aren’t allowed to drive, and celebrated those I love with numerous going away parties and heartfelt goodbyes.

 

And now I am welcoming them to a Costa Rica they may not have seen before – busses and walks across rivers with suitcases overhead, waterfalls they had to climb muddy walls to see, zip lined views of the rainforest, beaches with monkeys living nearby, cold showers on hot days, rivers for contemplation and rafting, and people who will warm your heart from the first “Buenas dias!”

 

Karen and friend crossing a bridge in Costa Rica. mysideof50.com

Karen showing friends Costa Rica.

I’m not a missionary. But the Costa Ricans have a saying that I could be evangelistic about with ease, “Pura Vida.” Translated exactly it means “pure life” but the intent is to suggest that life is at its finest when in a state of tranquility, comfortable with where you are and whatever comes your way.

[bctt tweet=”Life is at its finest when in a state of tranquility, comfortable with where you are and whatever comes your way.”] 

Peace Corps volunteer, Karen Campbell living "Pura Vida". mysideof50.com

Karen living Pura Vida – the pure life, meaning “life is at its finest when in a state of tranquility, comfortable with where you are and whatever comes your way.”

 

I may not be there every day but it’s certainly easier to come by as I realize my role of helping the helpers. A while back I discovered that was my purpose and with one click on a Facebook post, I have the purest joy, the greatest sense of life lived abundantly. Pura Vida indeed.

 

Peace Corps Costa Rica volunteer, Karen Campbell living "Pura Vida"

“With one click on a Facebook post, I have the purest joy, the greatest sense of life lived abundantly.” – Karen Campbell, Peace Corps volunteer – Costa Rica

 

Karen Campbell, Peace Corp

Peace Corps Costa Rica Volunteer, Karen Campbell

Karen Campbell is a Peace Corps Volunteer in Costa Rica.  She blogs about her experience at FoKCers (Friends of Karen Campbell).

Have you made a major mid-life career, location or life change? What prompted it?

 

Life Change Via Facebook? Joining The Peace Corps At Age 55 was last modified: December 27th, 2017 by Cathy Lawdanski
February 8, 2016 32 comments
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Midlife Women

15 Things to Do When You Can’t Sleep

Things to Do When You Wake Up in the Middle of the Night

15 Things to Do When You Can’t Sleep

A common problem that many of us face on this side of 50 is insomnia. That is what I have been dealing with lately and I know many of you suffer from it too. I know this because I see you liking and commenting on Facebook posts at all hours of the night!

Can’t Fall Asleep Insomnia

There are two kinds – the kind where you absolutely CANNOT fall asleep, for which there are all kinds of totally unrealistic remedies:

  • Turn off the TV and get off your iPad, phone and computer.  And do what, I might ask?
  • Limit caffeine. Makes sense, but I do love a cup of coffee after dinner.
  • Limit alcohol. What? No evening glass of wine?

Can’t Fall BACK to Sleep Insomnia

I don’t suffer from the can’t fall asleep kind of insomnia. I fall asleep about two minutes after I turn on a TV show or start reading a book. I have the wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back to sleep to save my life kind of insomnia.

WITHOUT FAIL at 3 a.m., nature calls or a cat decides I need to get up. I make my way to the bathroom without turning on a light then stumble back to bed, followed by:

  1. Getting a drink from the water jug by my bed because for some reason I am dehydrated.
  2. My lips are dry, so I feel around in the dark to find my Chapstick.
  3. I am wide awake by then and turn on the light to get out my Lavender essential oil and find the Melatonin.
  4. Take off my socks to put the Lavender oil on the bottoms of my feet.
  5. Lay back down on my left side.
  6. Curse the cats for waking me up.
  7. Roll onto my right side.
  8. Stick one leg out from under the covers.
  9. Put the leg back under the covers.
  10. Curse my husband for breathing in such a way that I can hear him.
  11. Curse my husband because he can sleep anytime, anywhere and nothing wakes him up.
  12. Rearrange the pillows.
  13. Try to read on my iPad.
  14. Watch Netflix on my iPad
  15. Lay on my back and try to FOCUS on going to sleep – yeah, like that works.

By this time, it’s 4 a.m., so I usually just get up and have a cup of coffee. Rarely do I fall back to sleep.

So, since I am exhausted, I’m going to let others from the Blogosphere do the work this week. Seriously, I have found some great posts that you’re going to like.

What do you do when you can’t sleep?

From Around the Blogosphere

3 Ways to Clean a Cast Iron Skillet from the Pioneer Woman

I LOVE Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman. I DVR her cooking show. I bought 5 of her cookbooks to give as Christmas gifts. Her line of dishes and bakeware is lovely. She seems like someone who could just be your best friend.

I have a cast iron skillet that I love to cook with, but wasn’t sure I was taking care of it properly so . Now I know.

This article on Caring for Aging Parents called When You Don’t Think Your Sibling is Providing Adequate Care to Your Elderly Parents.

On this side of 50, if your parents are still living, you will likely be involved in caregiving at some point. You may be in the middle of it already.

This is a good article on ways that you and your siblings, given your proximity to your parents and your individual situations can pitch in and work together.

One book that I found to be very helpful was:

Excellent Resource for those taking care of aging parents.

Excellent Resource for those taking care of aging parents.

How to Care for Aging Parents, 3rd Edition: A One-Stop Resource for All Your Medical, Financial, Housing, and Emotional Issues.

This book covers EVERYTHING and it is in an easy to use format. You don’t have to read the whole thing. It’s divided into sections that you can refer to for wherever you are on the journey.

2 Months as a Blogger

After almost two months into the blogging journey, I can’t thank you all enough for actually READING this blog and for your kind and generous feedback. I am overwhelmed.

Here are two ways you can help me grow my readership:

  • Subscribing to the newsletter here

    One primary way that bloggers can earn the income needed to support their site is to attract the interest of potential advertisers. The more newsletter subscribers you have the better.

And it’s not just about helping support this blog. I have some exciting plans    for subscriber only benefits coming up soon!

  • Share posts

    that you like on any of your social media channels. If you like them, chances are your friends will too!  There are “share” buttons at the top and bottom of each post.

PS – If you subscribe here – watch your inbox. There is one more step. You have to click a link in that e-mail confirming that you want this blog in newsletter form delivered to your inbox.

AND I never share your information with anyone and WON’T SPAM YOU.

Thanks for reading, subscribing, sharing and commenting on mysideof50!

 

15 Things to Do When You Can’t Sleep was last modified: October 19th, 2016 by Cathy Lawdanski
January 20, 2016 50 comments
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Midlife Women

Grace and Peace

Grace and Peace

It all started a couple of months ago. I was feeling:

  • Fat
  • Undisciplined
  • Like I couldn’t “get it together”
  • Selfish
  • Unproductive
  • Like I wasn’t doing enough FOR God – serving enough, worshipping enough, praying enough.

I was feeling bad about myself and sorry for myself. What a loser. Well, being a loser and feeling bad is a problem that MUST BE FIXED NOW! So to fix it, I decided I would DO SOMETHING FOR GOD. I would serve somebody in some way. So I signed up for the first service project I could find at my church.

Immediately I regretted it. I just wasn’t feeling it. Could it be that God really didn’t need me to do something for Him with the motivation of making myself feel better? Or perhaps I was still to be in this “season of rest” He had given me, that at times could be very uncomfortable.

Cut to my Bible reading that morning.  In the first chapter of Colossians it said:

Grace and Peace to you from God our Father.

Grace and Peace.

God extends his grace to me. I don’t have to perform. I don’t have to do a certain amount of anything – serving, worshipping, praying, reading the Bible, having a “quiet time”. I don’t have look, eat or feel a certain way. There are no hoops to jump through. Through Jesus, God extends grace to me. I can be at peace. I am at peace with Him.

Grace and Peace. I breathed in those words in like someone who hadn’t taken a breath in a very long time. I’ve heard these words for years. But it has taken getting to this side of 50 to start to believe and embrace them.

I haven’t been into Christmas this year. But as we get closer and I think about the birth of Jesus, I am reminded that He is the ultimate symbol of Grace and Peace.

He came from Heaven, was born into this world with all it’s problems and lived as a man. He never sinned. He modeled love and compassion. Then died on the cross for our sins.

He pursued us. Extended grace. The sacrifice of His life giving us peace with God.

So there you have it.

Grace and Peace.

The perfect gift from God.

And what a gift it is.

Grace and Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas!

How are you trying to “do” more for God? In what areas do you need to remember that God extends grace and peace to you?

Grace and Peace was last modified: March 11th, 2016 by Cathy Lawdanski
December 24, 2015 2 comments
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I'm Not Decorating For Christmas | Letting Go of the things that don't bring your joy and embracing the things you do for a joyful Holiday Season
Midlife Women

I’m Not Decorating For Christmas

I’m not decorating for Christmas. Well, that is not entirely true. I did put up a tree. And thanks to my daughter, Amy, I have a beautiful Christmas wreath, mantel and door decorations. But this year, I decided that I would stop there and not put out the nativity scenes, Santas, snowmen, nutcrackers and other assorted decorations that I have collected over the years.

I'm Not Decorating For Christmas | Letting Go of the things that don't bring your joy and embracing the things you do for a joyful Holiday Season

I’m not decorating for Christmas

On Sunday, my husband, Tony, dutifully went up to the attic and pulled all the Christmas boxes down. I put up the tree and decorated it, all the while thinking that it was one big chore. It used to be fun when I had kids at home. We would turn up the Christmas carols full blast and get caught up in the spirit and magic of Christmas. But the kids are now grown and on their own. They have their own homes, trees, decorations, and traditions. And that’s a GOOD thing!

I mentioned to Tony that decorating the tree wasn’t fun anymore since the kids were gone. Being the good guy that he is, he said, “I will help you. “ Uh, no. Tony’s contribution to the decorations has always been to make sure the tree was perfectly level (Did I mention he’s an engineer?) and to hang the outside lights. I couldn’t imagine he would relish spending time hanging tiny, fragile ornaments on a tree or that I would be able to let him do it the wrong – his way.

After assembling the tree, I was going to unpack the rest of the decorations, but thought the better of it when I remembered that I had an interior decorator coming the next week to help me with some re-decorating I planned to begin after the holidays. I wanted to leave the house pretty much as it was so that she could see it in its usual “un-Christmas” state.

So… I took the remaining decorations and put them in the guest room closet, fully intending to get them out after the decorator came. They are still there. And I don’t miss having them out one bit. So this year, they are staying in the boxes.

It’s not that I don’t like Christmas or beautiful decorations. I have friends who spend days decorating their homes for Christmas. They hire professional help to put up the tree. They LOVE everything about the process. And I LOVE going to their beautiful homes and taking it all in.

It’s just that decorating for Christmas at this point in my life is not that much fun and not that important to me. I’d rather spend my time doing something else.

I think on this side of 50, we need to look at where we spend our time and try to spend it on things that we find enjoyable and meaningful. Lord knows there is enough stuff we HAVE to do everyday that is not particularly fun or meaningful (laundry, cleaning up cat puke & unloading the dishwasher are on my list). It is OK to put aside the things we don’t like that we don’t HAVE to do.

So, sometimes being brave is letting go of the things you’ve always done or the way you’ve always done them, or what you think other people expect you to do to make room for something new.

[bctt tweet=”Sometimes being brave is letting go of the things we’ve always done to make room for something new.” username=”MySideof50″]

Do you have any holiday “must haves” or “must dos” that need to fall by the wayside?

[bctt tweet=”Do you have any holiday must-do’s that need to fall by the wayside?” username=”MySideof50″]

  • Maybe it’s not getting out the good china that has to be hand washed and instead getting some really nice plastic, disposable plates from Party City.
  • Or not making your mom’s creamed onions because no one at your Christmas dinner will eat them anyway.
  • Or putting all your gifts in bags and not spending time wrapping them and crafting beautiful bows.
  • Or maybe it’s the gift exchange among the adults in your family in general. Have you ever wanted to take that money and make a contribution in their honor to a charity?

Or if you just LOVE doing all that we associate with Christmas – the cooking, baking, decorating and shopping – think about what other things you can let go of for this the month of December so that you can fully enjoy and embrace all that this season has to offer.

Whatever it is, be brave. Try something new. Let go of what doesn’t serve you well anymore.   On this side of 50 (or at any time for that matter), it’s OK.

 

 

You Might Also Like:

Action Plan To Beat Holiday Stress

 

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I’m Not Decorating For Christmas was last modified: December 27th, 2017 by Cathy Lawdanski
December 7, 2015 45 comments
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About Me

About Me

Cathy Lawdanski

My name is Cathy. I am an over 50 wife, mother and grandmother who is embracing new challenges and adventures that come from being on "this side" of 50. Join me on the journey!

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