This review of “I’m Proud of You – My Friendship With Fred Rogers” contains affiliate links. If you purchase through my link, I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.
One of the best gifts I ever received was the book – “I’m Proud of You – My Friendship with Fred Rogers” by Ft. Worth Star-Telegram journalist, Tim Madigan.
I’m Proud of You: My Friendship With Fred Rogers
Those of us on this side of 50 likely spent a lot of hours watching Mr. Rogers with our kids. His calm demeanor and the kind and respectful way he communicated with children impacted several generations of children.
This book, however, is not about Mr. Rogers’ impact on children, but about his impact on Tim Madigan, a journalist who was sent to interview Fred for a story in 1995 and the transforming friendship they developed.
Throughout the years of their friendship, until Fred died in 2003, Tim faced the things all of us face – what Fred would call his “furies”. Marital problems, lingering hurts from childhood, the death of loved ones, criticism of his work, and depression. Tim shares with candor what he was going through and the wise, kind and encouraging words that Fred Rogers always shared with him through letters, phone calls, visits and e-mails.
My take away from this book was the power of our words. Not just how the hurtful things that are said that can wound a person and stay with them for a long time. But how a kind word, a word of encouragement, an acknowledgement of someone’s value can have such an impact.
I try to live by the adage (with varying degrees of success) “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. But Tim shares that part of his pain was from the things he DIDN’T hear from his father growing up. Now he had a good father who loved him and he knew it. But he never remembered hearing the words he longed to hear from his dad – “I’m proud of you”.
So on this side of 50, I want to make a point of telling people what they mean to me and not leaving things unsaid – thinking they “just know”. Which is all too easy to do with those we are closest to.
[bctt tweet=”Don’t leave the important things unsaid, thinking that they JUST KNOW. #SayIt”]
I recently thought of my husband of almost 32 years, Tony. I am quick to speak up if he does something that annoys me – to him and anyone else within a 20-mile radius. But I have never appreciated him more than I have in the last year with the illness and passing of my parents. His care of them and all the rest of us was selfless and tireless. Really, he has always been that way, but in times of trouble, you really see what someone is made of. And the harder things got, the more Tony came through.
Had I ever stopped to actually tell him how much I appreciated all he did? I’m sure I said thank you a time or two, but in the spirit of making sure I never left how I felt unsaid, I wrote him a letter telling him all of the things I appreciated about him. The list was a good reminder to me of his many wonderful qualities, because as I wrote it, the list got longer and longer. And I know that when Tony read my list, he felt valued and affirmed. And why wouldn’t I want the person I love most in the world to feel that I value and appreciate him? Note to self – make a point of SAYING how you feel.
I also wrote a letter to someone I had a professional “parting of the ways” with last year. Our parting was on a sour note. But the fact of the matter is, we worked together for a long time and for most of that time had a good working relationship. So before I closed out 2015, I wrote this person a letter acknowledging that while we had experienced a falling out at the end , there were many things that I appreciated about working with him and many things I learned from him.
I felt a tremendous weight lift off of my shoulders the minute I put that letter in the mail. I needed to go into the New Year with a clean slate, unburdened by the bad feelings I had when we parted ways. And the way to do that was to REMEMBER and EXPRESS the good. When he received the letter, he sent me an e-mail saying how much it meant to him.
[bctt tweet=”REMEMBER and EXPRESS the good. #SayIt”]
So today, I’m going to take a page from Madigan’s book about Mr. Rogers and let the people in my life know that I love them and what specifically I appreciate about them. As a midlife woman, I am more acutely aware that life is short. And I don’t want to leave this world with things that are unsaid.
How do you REMEMBER and EXPRESS the good to those you care about?
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Great way to start the day… thanks for the positive words.
Thanks, Ginger! I’m honored that you would read my blog!
Lovely read. Thank you so much for sharing these personal moments with us. I feel like I was there first hand with you. ❤️
I feel the need to be more grateful and aware of my blessings
Edith – thanks so much. Your kind words are an encouragement to me!
This is a very nice book indeed. It inspires and make you share goodness to others. Yes you are right, life is short. So many people passing every month, every week, and everyday. So sad to hear bad news, but I hope that those people who had left this world, had said to their loved ones how proud they were.
I am trying to get this habit of expressing appreciation, love, and goodness in words and deed. Because, I am not getting any younger. I don’t want to regret any thing.
I’m with you. Say how you feel while you have the time. No regrets! Thanks for reading my post and leaving a comment!
Wonderful and informative article.
Thanks so much for reading!
One of my favorite books and people ever!
🙂 So much wisdom from Mr. Rogers! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Another great post Cathy. Thank you for sharing! So good!
Thanks, Susan! So glad you are reading my blog!
I love this and the positive impact of words it really makes me think about how I speak to both my children and husband. I do say I’m proud but maybe not enough
Always good to be reminded. When we get caught up in the day to day, it’s easy to forget. Thanks for reading and commenting, Laura!
Always good to say the important words that are sometimes left unsaid. Thanks for sharing on #overthemoon
Beautiful reminder – thank you so much! You truly have a God-given gift of the written word and writing from and with your heart!
Thanks so much, Gayle! I appreciate you reading my blog and commenting!
Often we overlook the brighter things while we are engrossed in petty issues. This is such a beautiful write-up. A reminder always brings forth the thoughts that get stuck with time. Glad I stumbled over to this place!
You are so right! Glad you enjoyed the piece!
Wow. That’s inspiring. I loved each and every word you wrote there. esp. To make a point of saying how one feels. High time I did that. Thanks for the write.
Stalin – writing that post was such a good reminder for me! Glad it resonated with you as well. Thanks for reading and commenting!
A powerful post filled with kindness. It’s important to appreciate someone and tell it. It makes a huge difference.
Thanks so much for reading! I’m glad it resonated with you and I appreciate your kind comment!
Cathy, I did enjoy reading this post and the message of appreciation of others. The post will be FEATURED on Friday from the Pit Stop Crew at the Bloggers Pit Stop. We hope to see you there.
Kathleen – thanks for reading and commenting. I’m glad the post resonated with you. I am honored to be featured at the Bloggers Pit Stop tomorrow! Will stop by – after jury duty! Or depending on the WiFi situation, maybe while I’m waiting. Looking forward to getting to know you through the blogging world!
You’ve given us a great reminder of how important it is to make other people feel valued and appreciated. Thank you, Brenda
Thanks, Brenda. Be watching for my #SAYIT campaign in February when we’ll encourage each other to tell the people in our lives what we love and appreciate about them! I appreciate you reading the post and commenting!
Awesome post, Cathy! I will definitely have to read the book!
You will love it, Sally! Thanks for reading my post and commenting!
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Thank you for sharing this book, your thoughts about it, and the actions it encourage. It looks like a wonderful book, one I am going to try to read.
Rebecca, It is a lovely, sweet book. Pretty quick read. I think you will enjoy it. Thanks so much for reading my post and commenting! Cathy
What a wonderful reminder of how we tend to fail to acknowledge the good in life while focusing on the negative! Kudos to you for writing that letter and lifting such a burden off of yourself and your co-worker. It takes a lot of courage to reach out, but it was apparently what you both needed. Great post!! Thanks for contributing to the Monday Mish Mash!!
Amy – thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, that letter lifted a tremendous burden. The older I get, the more I realize we need to speak what is on our hearts while we have the time. Thanks for reading my post and commenting. I hope the Monday Mish Mash grows! Cathy
Such an important reminder. Thanks!
Erin, Glad it resonated with you. I think we all need that reminder. I would be honored if you would subscribe to my blog! Or follow me on social media. Thanks for reading and commenting!
This is so important and I agree whole-heartedly. We never know what the next moment or instant will bring, life has a way of twisting and turning. Telling someone what they mean to you not only gives you the warm fuzzies, but it can change someone else’s whole outlook, and that affects everyone they come into contact with that day. Amazing.
Yes, I am trying to be really intentional about telling the people in my life what they mean to me. Thanks for reading and commenting, Nikki!
Thank you for letting me know the book is there. I love Fred Rogers.
Great book, Kellie. You would enjoy it.
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Great post on the power of words, Cathy! We all need to practice and use great words with people in our lives.
I wrote it, but I’ve needed to be reminded that this week!
This books sounds great Cathy. Thanks for sharing this beautiful review and reminder!
It’s a beautiful book, Ilka. Great message for all of us!
[…] How to Make Sure You Say the Important Things […]
[…] How To Be Sure You Say The Important Things […]
Kudos to you for your attention to reaching out to friends and family members to tell them that you’re proud of them or that you appreciate what they do. Mr. Rogers was a one-of-a-kind positive influence on a whole generation. He is missed. Thank you for linking up at The Blogger’s Pit Stop Link Party. I’m sharing your link on social media.
Carol (“Mimi”) from Home with Mimi
I express to people that they are important to me by saying those exact words but backing it up with why I feel that way.
This is SO important! It is so easy to point out the things someone does wrong. But so much better to point the good things!
Yes, I’ve found that I’ve really had to change my mindset to do that.
It’s funny, we often know that those we love are aware of our feelings, but we often don’t say the words enough. We say “I love you” but not “I appreciate you and this is why . . .” Thanks for the reminder.
It was a great reminder for me too, Karen!
Great reminder for a daily self-check. Am I verbally expressing my appreciation and gratitude to other? I think it, but do I say it? Thanks for sharing
Reading that book was such a great reminder for me too! Thanks for reading and commenting, Jennifer!
So true, Cathy. I love your point not to presume people know how you care but to tell them. You’re so right!
Thanks for reading and commenting, Shirley!