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What To Wear To A Funeral. Four different looks for women from their fifties through their seventies from My Side of 50 and Jodie's Touch of Style
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What To Wear To A Funeral

Do you ever get stuck on what to wear to a funeral? When my dad died in 2015, I had NOTHING to wear to his funeral. Nothing in my closet that fit anyway. So I spent a day at the mall wondering around aimlessly, trying on NEW clothes that ALSO DIDN’T FIT (as if I didn’t already feel bad enough) and went home empty handed.

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Would I just have to wear my Talbots “generously cut” shorts and t-shirt that I had worn all summer as I drove back and forth to the hospital every day? No, that wouldn’t do. In the South, we still “dress” for a funeral. Maybe not quite as formally as we used to, but I wasn’t going to go to my Dad’s funeral looking less than my best.

 

What To Wear To A Funeral

What To Wear To A Funeral. Four different looks for women from their fifties through their seventies from My Side of 50 and Jodie's Touch of Style

Thank the Lord for the wonderful ladies at my local Chico’s. I walked into that store after the disastrous trip to the mall, told them “My dad died, his funeral is tomorrow and I don’t have anything to wear.” Those kind ladies helped me figure out my size (because in the world of Chico’s, overweight women in the 50’s can still be a size 2), parked me in a dressing room and started bringing me clothes.

I walked out of there with black pants, a black top with leather details (similar), a really cute and edgy kind of vest (similar) and the jewelry (similar) to go with it. I felt great. And since we were on a roll, they even outfitted me for a shower I had to attend the following weekend. I will be forever grateful to those sales ladies. I would never have been able to figure all that on my own.

So….when Jodie from Jodie’s Touch of Style asked me to partner with her on this style post, I thought, no problem. I’ll just wear what I did to Dad’s funeral. The only problem is, I love the components of that outfit so much that I have worn them to death and am sick of them.

So I went to Macy’s and got a couple of cute new pieces for the post, got them home and hated them.

What to do? My sister-in-law who was visiting and was my photographer was about to go home. I had to figure out something. So I decided to “shop my closet” and here is the outfit I came up with. I’m kinda proud of myself!

 

 

I started with a base of black. The Amazing Black Pants from Soft Surroundings and the Simple Comfort Top from Covered Perfectly. I wear both of these all the time. The pants have an elastic waist, but they are tailored in such a way that you’d never know it!

The Covered Perfectly top is so soft. It’s thin enough to layer, thick enough so that everyone doesn’t “see your business” and long enough so that it’s not riding up.

Then I found this Tahari by ASL Textured Crochet Knit Jacket that I bought for formal night on the Alaskan Cruise we took last summer. It’s “lacey” enough that you could wear to a more formal occasion, but casual enough for a daytime event. The pattern is gorgeous and I love the fit of Tahari jackets.

 

To accessorize, I wore my Kendra Scott Aiden Pendant Necklace. I usually wear a combination of gold and silver, so this necklace is perfect. Funny story – when my husband asked what I wanted for Christmas, I put 3 Kendra Scott necklaces on my list with the idea that he would pick one. He bought all 3! I’m not complaining. I guess he figured if he bought them all, there was no way he could get in trouble.

My Cloisonne Bracelet was a gift from a dear friend that I wear ALL THE TIME. I wear a lot of black and white so that it goes with everything.

 

And I just have to show you my ring. The diamond in the middle is the diamond from my Mom’s engagement ring. The 4 diamonds on the side are from the 10 diamond ring that Dad gave her on their 10th anniversary. It’s also two-tone. I wear it every day. Feels like I have my Mom close to me all the time.

Now over to Jodie’s Touch of Style to see the outfits that these 3 ladies are wearing.

I love this blog. Each week, Jodie has a fashion theme and shows outfits for ladies in their 50’s (she’s the 50’s model), 60’s (her stepmom, Nancy is the 60’s model), and 70’s (her mom, Charlotte is the 70’s model). They are just lovely.

Here’s a sneak peek. I love that they feature some options besides black. Click here to get the details on their looks!

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19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies

19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies | Ways To Help Your Grieving Friend. Do you know how to help when your friend loses a loved one? Or do you want to help but are paralyzed because you don't know what to do? Here are ways to help immediately after you hear of someone's passing. How to help before and at the funeral. How to help after the funeral when everyone leaves.

 

What To Wear To A Funeral. Four different looks for women from their fifties through their seventies from My Side of 50 and Jodie's Touch of Style

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What To Wear To A Funeral was last modified: June 2nd, 2022 by Cathy Lawdanski
March 30, 2017 15 comments
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19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies | Ways To Help Your Grieving Friend. Do you know how to help when your friend loses a loved one? Or do you want to help but are paralyzed because you don't know what to do? Here are ways to help immediately after you hear of someone's passing. How to help before and at the funeral. How to help after the funeral when everyone leaves.
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19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies

How do you help when someone dies? We’ve all faced it or we will at some point. I never lost anyone close to me until I lost both of my parents in 2015. Talk about opening up a “big ol’ can of whoop-ass” on the emotions.

When you know someone who has had a death in the family, you feel such empathy for their loss. You want to do something. Some people are good at jumping in and figuring out something to do.



Others of us want to “do something” but we become paralyzed because we don’t know what to do. I confess that before I lost my parents, that was me a lot of the time. But what I came to realize is that any gesture, no matter how small, ministered to my heart in such a profound way. A kind word, a card, text, phone call or just showing up gave me comfort. So here are 19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies.

 

19 Practical Ways to Help When Someone Dies

 

19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies | Ways To Help Your Grieving Friend. Do you know how to help when your friend loses a loved one? Or do you want to help but are paralyzed because you don't know what to do? Here are ways to help immediately after you hear of someone's passing. How to help before and at the funeral. How to help after the funeral when everyone leaves.

 

People will be coming. Either out of town guests for the funeral or friends who just stop by. Here are some things that your friends will need:

  • Paper goods – plates, napkins, cutlery, styrofoam coffee cups, plastic drinking cups, toilet paper, napkins, paper towels, garbage bags.
  • Canned soft drinks, bottled water, coffee.
  • Meals – Lots of times neighbors and friends show up pretty soon after a person dies with a cake or casserole and that it good. But if you can coordinate meals through a service like Take Them A Meal, you can communicate with those who want to help the family’s special dietary needs, preferences and drop-off arrangements. Taking care of all of these details is so appreciated.

Transportation:

  • Drive your friend to the funeral home when she has to make funeral arrangements.
  • Pick up out of town guests at the airport.
  • Drive out of town guests or elderly family members to and from the funeral.
  • Take kids to and from school.

Funeral arrangements – We planned what I consider your basic, standard funeral for my parents. Nice, but nothing that I would consider elaborate. Yet, there was still a lot to do at a time when I didn’t feel like doing anything. Here are some areas where you may be able to help:

  • Video presentation – At many funerals, there is some kind of video presentation showing pictures of the deceased. This is a lovely way to honor them and share beautiful memories with all who attend.   But getting all those pictures together in one spot, scanning those that need to be scanned and sending them to the funeral home takes a long time. Ask if you can help with that.
  • Help them locate and download the music they want for the presentation.
  • Take things that will be needed to the funeral home for them. Clothes for the deceased. Any memorabilia that they will display. We had a big portrait of each of my parents. And for my Dad, we had lots of stuff to display from his time in the military and his years of service as a policeman.
  • Help them get the word out about the funeral arrangements to those who need to know.



The Funeral

  • If an honorarium will be paid to the minister or musicians, get that from your friend and see that it is given to the appropriate person.
  • After the funeral, gather the pictures and memorabilia, flag, guest book – anything that was brought to the funeral home that needs to be returned and deliver it to the family.
  • Gather any flowers or plants the family wants to keep and deliver those to them. You may need to get several friends to help you with that.

After The Funeral

  • If the deceased has been living in assisted living or nursing home, the family only has a certain amount of time to collect their belongings. Get boxes and offer to go and help pack things up.
  • If it is a situation where there is a deep financial need, set up a fundraising campaign on a site like Go Fund Me.
  • Call on a regular basis, especially on those first holidays and anniversaries.
  • Send a card.
  • Send a handwritten note with a memory of the person’s loved one. If it’s someone you have a picture of, send that too. When we lose someone, we still want to talk about them and know that others remember them too.

The important thing in helping someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one is to “anticipate, don’t ask”, according to grief counselor, Megan Devine (refugeingrief.com).

Do not say “Call me if you need anything,” because your friend will not call. Not because they do not need, but because identifying a need, figuring out who might fill that need, and then making a phone call to ask is light years beyond their energy levels, capacity or interest. Instead, make concrete offers: “I will be there at 4 p.m. on Thursday to bring your recycling to the curb,” or “I will stop by each morning on my way to work and give the dog a quick walk.” Be reliable. – How to Help a Grieving Friend – 11 Things to Do When You’re Not Sure What to Do by Megan Devine

I remember the most thoughtful thing my good friends did for me after my dad died. They gave me a gift card for a spa day. You see, my mom had a stroke in January and died in February. My dad broke his hip in July and died in September. Most days during those 9 months were spent in hospitals, rehabs and assisted living with them. I don’t regret a moment I spent with my parents, but when it was all over, I was tired. That gift card to the spa said to me “We see you. We see what you’ve been going through. Here is something to help you take care of you.”

 



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19 Practical Ways To Help When Someone Dies was last modified: October 11th, 2022 by Cathy Lawdanski
March 28, 2017 53 comments
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About Me

About Me

Cathy Lawdanski

My name is Cathy. I am an over 50 wife, mother and grandmother who is embracing new challenges and adventures that come from being on "this side" of 50. Join me on the journey!

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